Chapter Eight - part three

   Tears welled up in her eyes again and she buried her face against his chest again as she began to cry softly. She had seen a glimpse of the pain and misery that he felt in his eyes tonight. She had felt it inside her heart too. She finally managed to stop the tears. Only then was she able to think about what had just happened and why. James hadn't wanted her or the kids around him. He had told her there was too much going on and he couldn't give them the attention they deserved from him. She understood now that he had been trying to shield them from those things; to shield them from his own life and the pain that filled it now. Sarah was glad his father had decided to talk with her. He had told her that most men tried to be strong for their families; to protect them. But they couldn't stay strong if they weren't able to be with their family.  His father was the one who had told her that James might not want them with him, but that he had to have them with him. Joshua had told her that a man drew his strength from two places and he had to have both to remain strong in the worst of times. One source of strength was God and one was his family. If James didn't have his family close by him then eventually James wouldn't have the strength to continue. James needed them close to give him a reason to find even more strength. More strength than he could ever find if left alone!

    Sarah sat there thinking for a long time about what she could do to help James find more strength. Then she did the only thing that she could think of. She began to pray. "Forgive me Lord for not trusting you sooner. I heard the whispers and felt the need to come to my husband, but I wanted to be strong for James and obedient for him. I wanted to do right for him and so I failed to do what was right according to you Lord. Please help him! Help me to help him! Lord, I see that he tries to carry the weight of the nation on his shoulders. I see that his heart is breaking for all those he can't seem to reach or help in time. I also see the doubt in his eyes Lord. Doubt of his self and doubt that he can do what you have given him to do. Please Lord, I beg you to show him that you haven't given him more than he can do. Show him that he is still the Ironman that you made him! Show him that he can finish this! Show him the path he must follow. Lord he is too weak and too weary to go on like this, but he still has far to go. Give him the strength that he must have. Guide and direct his decisions with your wisdom and give him understanding of your will. Renew his faith. He has given all his strength, all his wisdom, and all his faith to those he tries to help. James has nothing left to give, but you do Lord! Please give him what he must have to do what he must do!" She hesitated a moment. "Help me to find the strength to lift him and support him as he has done so many times for so many people. Let him take my strength and my faith to continue his work. We have both followed you faithfully Lord. We haven't always understood and have often forgotten that we don't always need to understand. We just need to believe. We do believe! I believe! Thank you Lord. It is in your Holy name that I pray. Amen."

    Sarah had seen the tension leaving James body while she had talked to him. She had felt the burden lifting from him as he heard her words and had thanked her for her love. Now she felt that same feeling in her own heart. She knew that it was going to be alright. The Lord was there with them and had heard her plea for help. Once again the Lord had brought them together with His perfect timing according to His perfect will for their lives. Everything was going to work out according to God's will and that meant it would all be for their good in the end. Sarah slowly relaxed and drifted off to sleep. For the first time in months she could sleep in the arms of the man she loved. She could hear his heart beating under her ear, and feel the warmth of his arms around her. She knew in her heart that he would carry her past all of this pain and suffering. She knew that they were both safe and secure in God's arms. Everything really was going to be alright one day.

   James woke up in the wee hours of the morning. He smiled as he felt Sarah stir in his arms. It hadn't been a dream after all. She really was there in his arms. The kids would also be sleeping in the other room. James sat there for a few more minutes just remembering everything that had happened this evening. Sarah had been right. He did need her and the kids. He had actually lost sight of the reason behind everything he was trying to do. That reason was right there in his arms right now! He could see it and feel it. It wasn't just Sarah and the kids though. It was the love that filled them. He had known that God was with him. He knew that God loved him too. But sometimes a man just needed to be able to touch someone he could share his love with. Duty and honor were good, but without love they were almost worthless. You could do your duty to God. You could worship and honor God. But God wanted more than just duty and honor from His people. God wanted their love too! God was ready to give you all of His love, but God wanted people to love Him back. Unless you truly returned the love God offered to you; all the duty and honor in the world meant very little in the end. It was all about the love! That was why God made us and why we still mattered to God. That was what really mattered more than anything else, remembering to love... unconditionally!

   The next morning James woke to the sound of timid knocking on his door and giggles. He glanced over as he felt Sarah beginning to stir beside him. He could dimly remember them finally making it to the bed. He smiled as he did. When he glanced at the clock beside the bed his smile vanished. It was almost noon! They had overslept! His sudden reaction had finished waking up Sarah, but she seemed to be in no hurry to get up yet. In fact she pulled him back with a giggle of her own. James started to object, but the words were smothered with her kisses. Then Sarah called out to the kids before he could catch his breath. "Come in! We're almost decent!" She had pulled the covers back over them as she spoke. The kids didn't hesitate. They came right in with plates filled with a hot breakfast in their hands. As they arrived beside the bed James managed to smile and laugh with his family. Then he saw what was on those plates. Fresh biscuits, sausage, bacon, fried eggs, and even hot gravy waited for them on plates that were almost overflowing!

    James stared at the food for a moment and then spoke. "Where did all of this come from? You didn't cook all of this stuff yourselves... did you?" His answer came from the still open door. He looked up to the sound of very familiar laughter. 'Aunt Sammy' was standing in the door with a big smile and laughing as she watched both James and Sarah turning red. She was in her dress blues, but she had a big apron over them. Smiling she spoke easily in spite of her laughter. I came by to report for duty, but when the kids told me you two hadn't gotten up yet... well I just did the next best thing! I helped them cook you breakfast and had a wonderful visit with my favorite future cadets!" Then she straightened up and snapped James a sharp salute and held it as she spoke. "Brigadier General Samantha Johns reporting for duty as requested, SIR!" James just sat there looking at her for a moment. Then he returned the salute and told her to "Get Out!" She quickly left, closing the door behind her as she did. James could still hear her laughter over the rest of the giggles from his family... even with the door closed!