Chapter Eight - part eleven

    James spent his time well. The press conference would be held at noon. The word was out about a conflict within the command structure of the operations and the press had been asking lots of questions. This would be the first time they had been able to speak directly with James since that rumor had started. James went directly to his command center in D.C. to speak to the people there. Once he had things settled with them; he quietly turned over command to General Hodges. That was to be effective immediately at the conclusion of the press conference. The press conference was the next issue he had to deal with. They had somehow gotten word about the meeting with the President this morning and they wanted to know what was going on. The normal room for it was already overflowing. James thought for only a short time before he made a decision to move it outside. He would hold it in the area open to the public near the 9/11 memorial to reduce the problem with clearances for everyone that suddenly wanted to be there. Everything he said would be broadcast live on national news, so there was no point in dealing with those problems or to limit access. The world would know everything within minutes anyway.

   That decision had only served to fire up the interest from the press. That wasn't a bad thing in James opinion. He wanted to do this up front and in the open for all to see and hear. If the press thought he was trying to hide anything he would never be free of them. It was going to be bad enough for the next few days without making it worse by trying to keep it quiet. The time rolled around and James walked out to give his normal briefing. When the press tried to ask questions he silenced them quickly. He informed them that regardless of what they might have heard he would first give them his full report as usual; then and only then would they be allowed to ask questions. He also gave them his word that he would answer any and all pertinent questions at that time. The press fell silent and listened as James began his report. By the time James had finished there was a considerable crowd of onlookers in addition to the press. Many were Pentagon personnel who had heard the rumors too, but some were just people who happened to be in the area. James looked out across the still growing crowd and taking a deep breath prepared to face them after he broke the news of his resignation to them.

   "Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes the normal portion of my monthly briefing on the status of operations to restore control and order in the United States. Now I know that you are not all here just because I give such exciting briefings." That brought a lot of smiles and chuckles. James was smiling as he continued. "I am well aware of the rumors that have been flying. Being a fighter pilot, I will now do my best to shoot all of the false rumors down and leave you with only the truth." That brought even more laughter and smiles. "Please hold any questions or comments until I have done that and then I will, as promised, answer all reasonable questions that I have answers for." James stopped and looked around the crowd before he continued.

    "There have been major disagreements and debates about the command of this operation, or more to the point; debates about the goals of this command and whether or not those goals have been reached yet. I won't now or later go into the details of those debates, so don't ask me to. The simple truth is that I alone have reached a decision about my own personal goals. This is my decision and I alone take full responsibility for it. This morning I informed the President that I can no longer continue to serve as commander of these operations." The press had stopped smiling and were all concentrating on him and what he was saying now. "I tendered my resignation at that time and he agreed to accept it on the conditions that I select my successor and inform you of my decision. I have now met both of those reasonable conditions. I have already transferred command to General Hodges to be effective immediately at the end of this press conference. Before any of you ask. The reason for my decision is very personal and very simple. I will share some of it with all of you though. I took an oath to serve when I became an officer. I feel that I can no longer continue to serve my duties as an officer under that oath while also serving my duty to God. I have made the decision to serve my God first and so I have resigned my commission. I ask you to show respect for both my faith and my decision. Now I will answer your questions."

   James had expected an explosion of activity and questions, but what he got was stunned silence. The press people seemed to be shocked by his announcement. They were all looking at him or looking around as if they didn't know what they should do. Before any of them could say anything a woman from the crowd raised her hand and called out. James acknowledged her and waited for her to speak. All eyes were on her as she stepped forward. As she did James began to smile. He knew her. It was Candy. She smiled and spoke once she was close enough that she wouldn't have to shout. "Hello James, it has been a long time since I last saw you. You haven't really changed at all though. You are still the Ironman I wrote about. Nothing shakes you. But you shake the world. My question is simple. What will you do now?" James laughed and shrugged as he answered her. "I don't know! That is up to God."

    After that a lot of questions started to be asked. The press weren't alone in asking them though. People from the crowd spoke up too. Most of their questions were about what was going to happen to them now under a new command. James explained that nothing should really change. It was his hope that the people would continue to work together towards rebuilding their nation. He remained positive that they could do that. He told them that he was just a man and they didn't really need him. That one statement disrupted everything in an instant. Actually it was the response of one woman to the statement that changed things. James had no idea who she was or why she was there. All he knew was that she started to change everything for him with her words. She spoke out from back in the crowd, but the crowd opened up around her as she spoke.

    She was almost screaming when she began. "I don't believe that! You are more than that! You have given me hope! You have given me something to believe in! The government didn't do that! You did that! Candy was right! You are my Ironman!. You gave us strength and you carried us out of the chaos! You did that! Not the government or the military...you! You can't just quit! Not now! We still need you!" She lowered her voice as she continued. "You know what is wrong and you know what we need to do to fix it. You have brought us so far already. Please don't abandon us now. I need to know that someone is leading us that I can trust. I need to know that you are still there for us. Please don't just walk away from your duty to us. I know you have a duty to God, but doesn't that mean you have a duty to us too? Aren't we all God's children? How can you walk away from us when we need you the most?"

  Tears were filling James eyes as she spoke. When she was done she had barely been whispering, not everyone could still hear her words, but James could. He was standing directly in front of her when she was done. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders and spoke softly to her as tears streamed down her face. "I haven't abandoned you. I will do all that I can to continue helping everyone that is in need of help. But you must understand that I can't do anything that will matter if I don't first serve God. You are still looking for a man to lead you; a man who can save you. I am not that man, no man is. Only God can truly save you! I promise you that God hasn't abandoned you either. God is right here, right now! God is ready to lift you and carry you to safety, but you must look to God not to a man. I follow God. That is why I must walk a new and different path now. Please believe me. You and the people of this nation don't need me... you need God!"

    The woman had listened and cried until he was finished. Then she had wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug for a moment, before letting go and simply walking away with two small children at her side. James and everyone else watched her walking away. Then James looked around a moment before he spoke again. "I think we are done here. I don't know what I am going to do, but I do know I won't just walk away from my duty to all of you. I couldn't do that and remain faithful to God.  I ask you all to let me go my way in peace for now. Trust in God and it will all work out for the best. You still have great people to guide you. You don't need me." James slowly began to walk back towards the Pentagon. The crowd and the press silently parted for him as he walked. There were still tears in his eyes, but there were tears in many eyes now. There were people with tears streaming down their cheeks as they silently watched the man who had done so much for his nation walking away with tears streaming down his cheeks. It was the silence, not the tears that shocked James though. It was the complete and total silence that had enveloped the entire scene. Nobody spoke, he wasn't even sure they were breathing. They just moved apart and let him pass silently by. They looked lost and alone. James felt like he was abandoning them, but he still walked towards the door. James walked towards the door, because he knew it was the right choice for him; it was God's choice for him.

   James had thought it was over, but he was wrong. A voice he knew well spoke out loud and clear from across the crowd. He turned to see Sabella standing at the podium he had left only moments before. She repeated her statement again as he looked at her. "I said, we don't need great people to guide us... we need you!" She just looked at him for a long minute before she spoke further. "I have known you since you began the journey that brought you here; to this place and this very moment. I have seen you do things that to this day I find hard to believe. You are absolutely right. We do have great people trying to help us. But we need more than that. You said that yourself. I know that you will say that what we need is God not you." Now she turned red and hesitated before she went on. "You know that I didn't want to believe in God. I still don't want to, but I do believe. I believe enough to be willing to start looking to God for answers. You brought me to this place, but not just to follow you! You have shown me that there must be a God. God must walk with you, because I know that you couldn't have done all you have done without the help of God." Her tone of voice became almost pleading. "James, I know that you are just a man. I also know that what we need is God and not a man. But I know that what we have right now. We have you!" James shook his head slowly as he walked back to the podium. Sabella waited with tears in her eyes for him to get there. Once he was there he shook his head again and spoke softly. "Do you know what you are asking? Do you know what you may have done?"

    Sabella smiled as she went on again. "I do know! James we do need you! We need you to show us the way back. We need you to show us how to find and follow God again. That woman was right! You can't just walk away, not now! God has put you here! You have to follow God, but you have to lead us back to God with you. Any great man could lead us right now, but only a man of great faith can lead us where we need to go. You have that great faith! James, you are that man! I am begging you! Become the leader this nation must have! You have restored order and control. You have restored water and power systems. Now restore our faith along with our future!" James just stood there looking at her. He had forgotten everyone and everything except for her and her words.

   After a moment he closed his eyes and slowly knelt down in front of everyone. Then he began to pray. "Oh Father in heaven, what am I going to do? I thought I had this all worked out. I thought I had it taken care of. Now I have no idea of what I should do. Forgive me for my pride and boldness; for thinking that I knew what to do. I am not worthy to be here. I am not worthy to do what this woman asks of me. I can't do that. Only you can restore our faith and lead us into future you have planned for us. I am just a man. I am weak and unwise. I don't know what I can do or should do. Father I ask you to guide and direct me in the days ahead. I ask you to bless those who have done so much to help me. I ask you to bless the people of this nation. We have all suffered much, but I know that you have a plan for all of us. Show us that plan Father. Show us the way we should go. I am lost just as the people lost, but we are not alone. Show us the way Father. Help us find our way back to you. In the name of my Lord, Jesus I ask these things." James heard a low but definite 'Amen' from the crowd around him.

    James slowly got to his feet and tried to smile at the people. Then he simply turned and walked back into the Pentagon. The press and crowd were silent once more. James doubted that any of them were ready to talk right now. They all had too much to think about. Just seeing a man kneel and pray was enough to shake many of them. The man who had been in command of the much of the military doing that and in front of the Pentagon had to have shaken them as much or more than James had been shaken by what had just happened to him. He had no idea yet of what God wanted him to do or even of what he wanted to do himself. James only knew that he was done here. It was time for him to go home. It was time for him to pray and to wait. When God was ready; James would know the way he should go. He would see the sun rising and the darkness fleeing. He would see the path God was preparing for him now. Until then he would wait. He would wait and he would pray.