Chapter Seven - part seven

   Joshua gave James a hug and then did the same to Sarah, before stepping back inside. All of the girls were suddenly very somber and quiet. They all gave Sarah and James hugs, but the teasing was over. Most of them had tears in their eyes, so did James and Sarah. After they were gone James took Sarah out for a drive in his truck. They talked and laughed, but mostly they just enjoyed sitting in the truck together and looking out over the lake. Sarah finally did say something about what Joshua had said. She said it as they were walking back to the house. She had just stopped and turned to face James. Before she spoke she had reached up to run her fingers in his hair, even short as it was cut. "Your dad is a very wise man. I have never heard love described exactly like that before. I don't think I will ever be able to think of love without thinking of a fire again." Then she leaned in against James and just stood there for a moment before saying anything more. When she did it was almost a whisper. "James, do you think we can ever have that kind of love? The kind that burns slow and steady, until there is just nothing left?" James leaned down and kissed her hair softly. "Sarah, I think we are about to find out. The fire has smoldered a long time already and I think there have been a few flare ups." Sarah giggled and looked up at him as he continued. "I think now we get to see if the fire will keep burning even when we can't see the flames or feel the heat." The giggles had died and even her smile had faded. After a minute she spoke again as they started to walk into the house. "I think I know how you got to be so smart. I think you are a lot like your father. I think you have learned to be wise in your own way. I just hope you think we are a wise decision." It was James turn to laugh now. He stopped and turned to face her. Sarah was giving him a very hard look, but he just smiled and leaned down to kiss her. They had kissed many times now and it still made his heart pound, but this time it was different again. When the kiss was finished they were both short of breath. Smiling he ran his hand over her cheek as he leaned forward and whispered very softly. "Sarah, I don't care if it is wise or foolish. I just want it to be right. I want that with all my heart." Then he turned and walked away, leaving her standing in front of her bedroom door.

   The next day Sarah found herself heading out on a shopping trip with his mom. They spent much of the day shopping and talking. Sarah had brought only a few changes of clothes and none of those were really practical for the farm. Sarah had been sort of nervous about spending the day alone with Mary, but by the end of the day she was glad she had. They had talked and laughed all day. Mary had told Sarah all about James and the girls. She had listened while Sarah talked about her family and friends too. They had even talked about life at the Academy. The one thing they had hardly talked about was her and James relationship. It had been a wonderful day. When they got home James and Joshua were still out in the hayfields. They didn't get back until almost dark. Sarah had started to hug James and ended up trying to keep him from hugging her. She had never known anyone could get that dirty and smelly in one day while just riding a tractor. The next day she stayed around the farm and got to watch James and Joshua working. They would begin baling hay the next day.

   The next morning Sarah helped James tend the livestock and check the hay equipment. She had never been around anything like that. Livestock she was familiar with, mostly horses and cattle. She laughed at the little pigs and loved watching the newly hatched chicks. Steve showed up in time to help with the hay that morning. Sarah found herself in the kitchen with Mary. Today they were baling square bales, so there would be a crew of hungry men to feed. Sarah and Mary would spend the morning making sandwiches and desserts for the men. It was the middle of the afternoon before they went out to the field. Mary parked the truck under a large shade tree and they started getting things set out for the men. Sandy had arrived in time to help them. As they were doing that the men loading the hay started the truck with the hay trailer across the field towards them. They were still loading as they made the turn. Sarah found herself watching them work.

   Actually she was just watching James. He had his shirt stripped off and was covered once again in dirt and sweat. Even from a distance she could see his muscles bulging as he tossed bales up over his head to be stacked. She was still watching him when Sandy stepped up and spoke to her. "That better be James you are making those eyes at or we are going to have some serious trouble." Sarah whirled around and began to stammer, but Sandy was laughing too hard to listen. Mary scolded Sandy and sent her to start putting ice in the drink cups. Then she stood beside Sarah and spoke softly to her. "Don't pay any attention to her. I never knew a woman who didn't enjoy watching her man work, although I must say you certainly were intent. You never even heard us calling you." That made Sarah's face turn even redder than it already was. She finally managed to speak. "I guess I just never saw him like this before. I mean I have seen him working, but... well I don't think I have ever seen him like this. He looks different with his shirt off, all hot, and dirty. He just looks so..." She stopped and turned still redder. Mary gave her a small hug and whispered in her ear. "I understand. His father still makes me feel that way. Just promise me you won't break his heart dear... I can tell that he loves you more than life. He looks at you the same way Joshua looks at me and that is the way Joshua loves me." Then Mary stepped away and left Sarah alone to watch James. Sarah looked at James and marveled at never having noticed him like this before. She also wondered if he really did love her more than life. She hoped so, because she was becoming more convinced with each passing day that she loved him that way.

   That single moment changed things for Sarah. Suddenly she knew that she, no that they, had to decide where their relationship was and where it was going to go. She had a few months left before she actually would begin her new life, but James would be returning to his in just days. He was to be one of the cadres training the Doolies at Jack's Valley this year. He wouldn't normally have been off now, but due to his schedule for track meets he had been granted this break, so that he could actually have a break. Sarah was afraid to press things with James, but she knew she had to do it now. If he really did love her, then she had to know and if he didn't love her... well she needed to know that too.

   James noticed the change in Sarah during lunch. Steve had told James, while they were working, that he was going to ask Sandy to marry him after she passed her accounting test. That had started James thinking about Sarah. She would be gone in just a few days. It was doubtful they would see much of each other during the next two years. He would still be completing his education at the Academy and she would be training to fly jets. Even after James graduated it was doubtful they could be together. Sarah would be finished with training, if she passed everything and earned a seat in the cockpit of a jet she would be assigned to an active duty squadron, probably overseas. James had no idea of where he would be heading. He was hoping to start training to fly just like Sarah, but that just added two more years of separation between them. Did she love him enough to last that long and maybe even longer, before they could even begin a life together? Even if she did, did he have the right to ask her to do that? Would that be a sign of his love for her or his own selfishness?

   That Friday they took a trip up to D.C. to see Jackie. It was actually to get away for a weekend. They had decided that they needed to spend some time together without any interference. They had even made reservations for hotel rooms. They wanted to have a chance to really talk about their future. Sarah had called her folks and told them about it, just like James had told his parents. Neither set of parents were overly pleased with the idea, but they did both seem to understand. Sarah had pointed out that most couples who had been dating this long were living together. That hadn't helped at first, but it had made a point. She and James had made that decision early on. They weren't going to try this out. They would date and decide on a future together. There would be no trial run for them. That was something they had both agreed would be for the best, no matter what they finally decided.

   A lot happened during that weekend. James finally told Sarah that he was in love with her and would wait as long as he had to for her. She had told him much the same thing, but she had a problem with the waiting. That wasn't acceptable to her. She knew they would have to wait at least two years, but after that she wasn't sure she would be willing to wait much longer. They had talked, laughed and even cried together, but they had found no real answers. When they got back to the farm they had gone to see Pastor David. After that first meeting he had asked each of them to meet with him alone and both to meet with him again several times. He had told them it was time he talked to them like he would if they were engaged. That had shocked both of them until he explained that because of their situation they would be facing much harder choices and situations before that could happen. He wanted to help prepare them so that they could face those situations together, even if they were miles apart. Those meetings had helped. When Sarah and James left, her back to her parent's home, and him to the Hill again, they each had made a promise. They still weren't engaged, but they had promised before Pastor David and God that they would remain faithful and stay in touch until they knew for certain what to do.

  As James drove his truck back to the Academy he thought a lot about that promise. To James that simple promise was his most precious possession. He would guard it with his life. He knew in his heart that Sarah felt exactly the same way about him that he felt about her. He also knew that the next couple of years would be far harder than anything he had yet faced. The Academy he could handle, but being apart from Sarah... that he wasn't so sure he could handle that.