Chapter Nine - part two

   Sarah had felt James suddenly stiffen up. She cringed and tried to bury herself against him. She couldn't lose him, not because of this. She just couldn't! James slowly relaxed and then he started trying to get her to let go and move back from him. Sarah held on to him for dear life. James wouldn't push her away without even knowing what was wrong would he? James finally managed to get her gently pushed away and get her to raise her face, so that he could see her face clearly. He smiled and spoke very softly. "Sarah, listen to me for just a moment. I don't have to know everything that is going on in your life.  I think we both have secrets we haven't or can't share. I think those secrets are the problem. Answer just one question for me. Just a yes or no, then I may know what is wrong. I may even be able to help fix the problem, maybe." Sarah was looking at him with doubt and questions in her eyes, but she did nod her head. James smiled and asked his question. "Does your secret have anything to do with the new plane the Air Force is doing final testing on?"

   Now it was Sarah who stiffened up. She pushed even further away and studied James for a long moment. Then she simply gave him a slow nod of her head, saying nothing at all. James smiled and nodded back. He closed his eyes, leaned back, and said a silent prayer of thanks. When he looked back Sarah was clearly even more puzzled and confused. James smiled and spoke quickly. "It seems we both have been keeping secrets and probably about the same thing." Sarah just looked at him for a moment and then she gasped. A smile quickly spread across her face as she remembered he was about to leave for the first summer term and couldn't tell her where or why. James nodded again and continued to speak. "Assuming we have the same secrets, I can understand how upset you are. The idea of having to chose between you and a fantastic opportunity to do something only a selected few will have the chance to do would be awful. Add in the thought of not being around you much for years longer and it would be almost unbearable." Sarah burst into laughter and threw her arms around him. When they finally came up for air they were both still laughing.

   They beat around the bush a little, but it was clear they both had the same issues and secrets to deal with. Although she couldn't confirm it James knew that Sarah had been selected to train for the new plane. Just like James she had a decision to make and soon. She could continue on her current path and would likely be deployed stateside in one of the old F-35 squadrons when James graduated. It was highly possible she would be able to manage a posting close to him, if not at the same base James would get assigned to for the initial pilot training. However, if she took the slot training with the new plane she would be spending at least another 18 months learning that plane and then almost certainly be deployed overseas in a combat zone capacity. The chances of being close to James would have been slim to none. But that might all be changed now. If she and James were both trained to fly the new planes they might well be able to stay close to each other. At least they should be together during the training. Deployment might mean separation, but at least they could have some time together and they would probably be deployed in the same general area. It was highly unlikely they would get the same squadron, but they might manage the same home base.

   They talked for a few minutes more before James had to head back to the Hill. It was a restless night for both of them, but they both had new hope for a future together. The next day James requested a meeting with Lt. General McBride. He knew James had been selected for testing. He might know a way to make it possible for James and Sarah to talk to each other about things. When James told McBride his problem, McBride had laughed until Colonel Roberts had knocked and asked if everything was alright. Once she had been assured it was and closed the door again, McBride had confirmed things. He knew who was on the complete list for testing and Sarah had been on the list. Then he had given James permission to talk in detail about things with Sarah. He had also suggested that she get in touch with 'Uncle Bill' about it. Since General Davis was in charge of the overall training for and implementation of the new planes, he might be able to do more to help make the right decisions depending on the final outcome of the selection process.

   The next few days were spent talking and trying to figure out what they should do. Uncle Bill had talked to Sarah at length after she called him with her problem. He hadn't yet been made fully aware of who had been preselected for the new training, but after she had asked about it, he had quickly confirmed that Sarah would be training for at least 18 months on the new F/A-48. The training was actually scheduled to begin just a few weeks after graduation next year. He wasn't happy with the fact that Sarah had been selected. He didn't bother trying to talk her out of it, but he did ask her to think about it very carefully. The new jets were on the cutting edge and yet they were also going to be one of the most dangerous assignments in the Air Force. These jets had been specially built to help regain air superiority that had been slipping away from the United States. They were also designed to allow for better ground support at the same time. They were certain to see action in the worst spots around the world. Sarah could still pass on the chance, but she would have to decide before long.

   James and Sarah came to the decision that this had happened for a reason. They could both have a chance to do what they had dreamed of doing and still have a chance for a life together too. Since coming to the Academy, James had realized that his best chance to make a real difference would start in the cockpit of a combat aircraft.  Sarah had dreamed of flying fighters since she had been a little girl and seen her Uncle Bill doing it. There were still no guarantees that their time together would last past the 18 months of training. It might not even last that long if either one of them washed out. But at least they had a chance to be together for a few months. That was more than they had expected with both of them being in the Air Force. It would have to be enough. After they made their decisions about accepting the chance to train on the new aircraft if it came along, James made another decision. This one he didn't tell Sarah about. He would share it with her, but that would come later, after the ring dance and when he was certain it was the right time.

   The ring dance was wonderful in more ways than expected. James was very proud of his ring, but he was more proud of his date. Sarah made a big impression on everyone, especially since they all knew her from her days at the Academy. James and Sarah soon were the talk of the dance. They took a lot of teasing, but they also heard a lot of sincere best wishes for their future together. It seemed that everyone was expecting them to be married soon after his graduation. They spent a lot of the evening trying to convince everyone that they weren't even engaged yet. There was no way that they could mention the possible future they might have or how far apart it might drive them to pursue that future. They spent a wonderful evening dancing and laughing with friends who could finally see the end of a very long journey they had started almost three years ago. A lot of hopeful pilots asked lots of questions when Sarah wasn't on the dance floor, since she was currently in training as a pilot. It was a very exciting night for everyone.

   After the dance they drove up to the cabin James had rented in the mountains with the rest of the gang from the Academy. Once they were there, almost everyone headed to beds to get a little rest before the next day. It was only a few hours away by then. They all had big plans for the last big weekend together before they started that last year on the Hill. James and Sarah didn't sleep though. They sat up talking about their future and the decisions they must make. They had both made the choice to pursue the chance to fly the newest and best the Air Force had to offer them. It was a huge commitment, not only as an individual, but as a couple. That was why they had made that decision together. There would likely be unforeseen complications for them. One issue they knew they would face was being together after training was finished. The Air Force didn't like couples serving together in the same units. The Air Force frowned on married couples who both served, period. It wouldn't be as big an issue if they weren't actually married. There were lots of couples who served together and lived together. They even had children together. All of that was done without being married, because marriage made it much harder for them to be stationed together under current rules.

   They had made their decision to accept the chance to live the dream of flying the best aircraft in the world, but they had also made the decision to not let that direct the course of their future lives together more than could be helped. They wouldn't sacrifice their beliefs or their love just to pursue their individual dreams. Only after they had agreed on that had either of them been willing to make the commitment to fully pursue those other dreams. James hadn't been certain about how Sarah felt about him, anymore than she had been about how he felt about her. They had both said the words to each other, but even saying 'I love you' had taken time. Knowing that they each truly meant those words took longer and was even harder for them to fully accept. Sarah and James always knew they couldn't be married until he graduated because of the Academy rules. They had talked about their possible futures after the Academy, if they did or didn't both pursue this opportunity. They had decided that together, they could handle whatever they had to do to make things work for them.

   James saw this as a chance to be at the very front of things. This new plane would put him out in front where he would be directly involved in actions that might have an effect of the entire world. It was his best chance to be in a position where he could have an impact on those world changing events.  For Sarah it was the chance to actually live her dream. It was the chance to fly the top plane in the world, to do and be what she had dreamed of doing and being all of her life. They could both have a chance to be and do what they wanted most in life. They had agreed that neither one of them could pass this up or deny the other the chance, not even if that meant being separated for a lot longer. They had agreed to make it work and to make their future together work too, no matter what that future might be.