James watched her climb the stairs until
she disappeared. Only then did he turn and start the long walk back up the hill
towards the Chapel. He had a lot to get sorted out. The first thing he had to
get sorted out though wasn't what she had said or his thoughts about God. The
first thing that he needed to deal with was his thoughts about her. She had
nailed it when she said he had her head and her heart messed up. She had done
that to him too. He couldn't get her out of his head. The way she looked. The
way she talked. The way she smelled. Even the way she smiled and laughed. He
hadn't felt embarrassed like this around a girl in years. His heart was racing
and his head was spinning. What had she done to him? Why had she done it? He
tried desperately to get it all sorted out as he walked, but he was back at the
Chapel before he even came close to getting it worked out. James spent several
hours in the Chapel. People came and went. A few even spoke to him, but most
just left him alone. It had taken time, but he had found some answers. He had
found at least a little peace again.
James didn't know why Sarah had done what
she did, but he was grateful she had done it. He now understood that she was
right. Knowing how God saw him did matter, but what others saw would matter
just as much. It actually mattered more, because he was supposed to be a
reflection of the Lord. James wasn't sure why, but he knew he had to listen to
Sarah. He had to stop being just a Christian and become a witness, a living
testimony for his Lord. He still had no idea how he was supposed to do that.
That didn't worry him though. He didn't have to know. He just had to do what he
knew was right, what the Lord would want him to do. God would handle the rest.
It was later than he had realized. He had missed the noon meal time, so he
would have to wait to eat. As he headed into the domain of Mighty Mach One he
saw his first test of faith waiting for him. Peter Kemp was standing in the
hall watching him... and waiting for him at the desk.
James remained calm as he walked towards
the desk. It was easy to see that he was about to get hammered hard for
something, but he remembered what Sarah had said. He had to watch every step
and he had to remember it wasn't just him that was on trial. This all reflected
on the Lord. No matter how he acted good or bad, it would be seen as a
reflection of God and not just a look at James. So James gave the appropriate
recognition to everyone at the desk and signed back in. It was only after he
had signed in and was preparing to walk away that Kemp spoke to him.
"Cooper, according to this you have been at the Chapel for just short of
six hours. Is that right?"
James turned to face Kemp and responded
quickly and correctly. "Sir, yes sir." He stayed at attention
waiting. He knew this was not over. Kemp began to laugh. Then he spoke again.
"That must have been one heck of a long winded fool preaching today. What
did he have to say that was worth listening to for six hours? I think I would
like to know." James kept his eyes forward and answered. He knew it wasn't
going to go well though. "Sir, I couldn't say what he said, sir. He
preached from Philippians 4, sir. Something about worry and prayer I think,
sir." Kemp was staring at him is total disbelief, but the fire in his eyes
was blazing brighter now. He shook his head as he raised his voice in reply.
"You sat there listening to him talk for six hours and you don't remember
what he said? Dang Cooper, I thought you lived for that garbage! Was he that
boring? What happened, did you just fall asleep and not wake up until a little
while ago? Well, don't just stand there, speak up! Something kept you away for
six hours!"
James actually managed to smile. "Sir,
I didn't fall asleep, sir. I was thinking, sir. I was distracted during the
service and after the service I had a lot of things to get sorted out, sir. I
just sat in the Chapel to think, sir. It is peaceful there, sir." Kemp was
glaring at him now. He obviously was getting more upset. James just remained at
attention and waited. "You needed to think? Cooper you are an idiot!"
Kemp shook his head in anger and reached out to hit the Bible James held in his
hand for emphasis. "Do you really believe that garbage? Do you think some
all powerful being wrote down all the answers to life for you in that stupid
book? How does somebody smart enough to qualify to attend here manage to be
dumb enough to fall for all that garbage? Well? Answer me Cooper!!!" James
took a deep breath. "Sir, may I speak freely, sir?" Kemp gave only a
quick nod. James had expected this confrontation or one similar to it at some
point. He had thought he would just try to let it go and not say anything, but
now he knew that wouldn't work. He knew that unless he could give them an
answer they couldn't dispute they would keep hitting him with the same attacks,
until he broke. He thought that just maybe he had an answer that might stump
them, at least for a little while.
James stepped over behind the desk and
picked up a dictionary that was always there. He wasn't sure why it was, but it
was always behind the desk. He laid it and his Bible down on what they called
'the front desk' at the Mach One squadron area entrance. Turning to face Kemp
and the group of uppers who were gathering to watch the show, he prepared to
begin his counter-attack. "Sir, I just placed my Bible and a dictionary on
the desk. In truth, they both contain all the answers, to all the questions, we
may ever have. The dictionary has the answers, because it contains all the
words of our language. The Bible has the answers, because it contains the words
of God; at least in the opinion of those who believe in God. Sir, I am well
aware that you could get just as much information and knowledge about this
world by spending time in study of the dictionary as you could in study of the
Bible, because you don't believe in God. The same isn't true for me."
James reached over and picked up his Bible. "Sir, this alone, is just a
book, no different than that dictionary. It alone, can do nothing to save me,
or to show me the answers I seek. I understand that, just as you understand
that, sir. But the answers I seek are not of this world, they are of God's
world. The only difference between what we both seek is a single word, faith.
The difference in us is in where we each find our own personal faith. Sir, I
have faith in God, just as you have faith that I am a fool. You believe that I
am a fool, so to you, it is true. I believe in God, so to me..." James
held up his Bible "this is just as true. Sir, we can argue until the end
of time, but neither of us will ever convince the other of our own personal
truth. Sir, I spent today thinking and praying about how to face those who
don't believe. This is my answer. I will face them with the truth. Sir, I will
respect and defend your decision to not believe. It is your right to not
believe with the same commitment and the same determination that I give to my
own belief. It is your 'God' given right to not believe, just as it is my 'God'
given right to believe. I have not and will not challenge your personal choice
to reject God. Sir, I made the decision to attend the Academy and to serve my
country in order to defend that very freedom of choice. Sir, I came here to
defend your freedom of choice, but have you come here to defend mine or to
destroy it? You asked if I believed this garbage." James held up his
Bible. "The answer is... Yes, sir. I do believe, sir."
Peter Kemp was looking at him in total
disbelief. He had turned red and gone white and back to red as James had been
speaking. Most of those who had rooms along the hall were at least standing at
the door of their room now. Many were crowded up close enough to have heard
what was said. James waited. He had no idea what Kemp would do next. He might
just stomp off or he might go into a rage. James knew that he had just
challenged him openly when he had asked why he had come to the Academy. His
hope was that Kemp wouldn't be prepared to answer that challenge. How could he
say he hadn't come to defend freedom? How could he accept the challenge and not
effectively do just that? James waited, standing at attention once more.
Finally Kemp stepped forward so that they were face to face. He stood there
looking directly into his eyes for a long time. Then he spoke very softly.
"Cooper, I don't like you. You are too darn smart for your own good. You
think you won today, but you are wrong. There is no god. That is just a book
you are holding. Before this year is done, I will show you what the truth is...
that you aren't fit to serve your country or even to attend this Academy. Now
get out of my sight." James snapped
him a sharp salute. "Sir, yes sir." James wasted no time getting away
from there. He knew that Peter Kemp had spoken the truth about at least one
thing... James had not won today.
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