Chapter Four - part three

     Colonel Madison returned again on Sunday and once again she lifted spirits and strengthened their determination. Just as in the prior week there were some faces gone, but this week there were no new faces. That was a bit of a letdown for James, but Colonel Madison assured them that it was the way it had been in the past and likely would continue to be in the future. Many would begin the journey, but few would complete it. That was her view of it. James had another surprise that Sunday at the conclusion of the service with Colonel Madison. He and the rest of the Doolies were starting to leave after the closing prayers. They all spoke with the Colonel briefly as they were leaving, but it was just a few words, nothing special about it. Today as he shook her hand, thinking to leave and enjoy what little free time he had left, she held on and spoke to him. "Cadet Copper would you please take a seat and wait a moment. I want to speak with you after the others are gone." Somehow he had managed to give her the appropriate response and go back to take a seat again. He was so stunned he could hardly think. What did she want to speak to him about? Then it suddenly hit him. She had just singled him out! They all took heat for coming to the service and listening to her, but now the rest were leaving. It was just him left sitting there. He glanced around and saw several of the cadre watching from not far away and they weren't the cadre who joined them each week. These were the ones who worked the hardest to make them regret being openly Christian. James lowered his head and groaned softly. He didn't know what this was about, but he knew what the result was going to be regardless.  There was a huge target clearly painted on him for all to see now. He had just become number one on the most wanted list for the cadre who hated Christians the most. Doolie James Andrew Cooper had just become a marked man.

   It had only taken a few moments for the others to say their few words and break off. Now it was just James, Colonel Madison, and a couple of the most senior of the cadre who came to join them each week for services. James started to jump up when the Colonel approached, but sank back down at a slight motion from her hand. She took a seat on one of the small benches she had made the cadre provide after the first week. She was watching him closely and actually smiled slightly before she began to speak. The cadre who had remained didn't stay close. In fact they had moved out to form a perimeter around them. It was easy to see that whatever she was going to say she didn't want anyone to hear it but him. That just made the butterflies in his gut worse.

    "Relax if you can Cooper. I know that I just painted a target on you. The truth is that you have done that without any help from me. I would try to help you if I could, but unfortunately all I could do would likely just make it worse over time." She laughed as she watched the expressions on his face change. "You are very good at hiding your emotions, sometimes you are at least. Right now, considering what thoughts must be running across your mind I am impressed with how well you hide it. Brigadier General Kendrick was impressed with you too and so are others. You have the makings of a fine officer and a real leader. The problem is that you don't seem to understand just how much crap you can create for yourself." That was just too much. She was warning him about creating crap and she had just buried him in crap all by herself.

    He spoke up, "Permission to speak Ma'am!" The Colonel nodded while still smiling. "Ma'am, I seldom do anything without considering just how much 'crap' it will create, not only for me, but also for the others around me. That doesn't change anything though. I do what I feel I must do. I can and will take the consequences for doing that. There is no good way around all of the garbage, but I can deal with it. But now you have just effectively nailed me on the cross. I don't go looking for more trouble. I just deal with whatever is handed to me, but this? Ma'am this is going to be real trouble, not only for me, but for everyone around me too. Please don't talk to me about creating crap when you just totally buried me in it; respectfully, Ma'am."

    Colonel Madison had lost her smile as he spoke, but now she began to grin and shake her head. "You are indeed an unusual young man. Few Doolies would have the nerve to speak like that to any of the upperclassmen, much less to any superior officer. I don't think I have ever seen one that had the nerve to do it with such confidence." Then the grin vanished. "I am well aware that I may have nailed you to a cross. However, I had no choice.  I didn't do this lightly. You need to understand things and you need to understand them completely. There is indeed a war being waged against Christians in the military. The fact is that war must be won or as Christians we will all pay a far greater price in the future. You see once the war is won in the military it will be taken to the rest of our nation and finally to the remainder of the world. You need to understand that you alone have already done enough to place yourself on that cross you speak of. The truth is that you haven't been nailed to that cross yet, but you do have to carry it. You have done that to yourself. I am trying to help you avoid being nailed to the cross that you have already chosen to carry without any help from anyone."

    She hesitated before continuing in a softer voice. "Cooper, you may have become just another sacrificial lamb, but I don't believe that. I believe that you will become a true leader. I think that you may indeed be one of the leaders we have been praying for. You have the physical stature and good looks. You have the brains and the brawn to go with your looks. The only question was if you had the heart and more importantly the faith required to stand before those who would crush you. You have proven that you do have the heart time and again while here at Jack's Valley. The ones who are doing their best to remove Christ from the military are now focused on you. They see the same things that I, that we all see inside you. They will do their best to keep you separated and isolated. They can't and won't allow you to spread the strength of your faith among those they have already beaten down. You need to understand that you are already at the center of this battle. Those who oppose God now see you as a representative of God and oppose you too. Those who follow God and more importantly those who are still searching for God also see you. They see you as being a possibility, a hope for something more, something better. You need to understand that you have already become the focus of this battle."

    Colonel Madison shook her head and stood up. "I had to tell you this and I had to be the one who did. You wouldn't have believed it, not truly, if one of the upperclassmen had tried to tell you. This message didn't come from me. This came directly from Brigadier General Kendrick. You have been seen. They are aware of you in high places. You need to know that. You must understand that you face far greater tests and opposition than what a few upperclassmen alone can do. There are men wearing stars and men setting in elected offices that will be watching you the entire time you are here. I don't know that you came here expecting to carry this cross, but regardless of what you expected to happen... you do have a cross to carry. I would help you if I could. I will when I can, but for now you must carry this cross alone."

    She smiled again. "Cooper, you will never truly be alone. There will be times when those around you will be forced to step away and leave you to face things alone. I will have to leave you to face this alone now, but you must remember that you aren't truly alone. As long as you hold onto the faith that has brought you here, the same faith that can deliver you from here, you will never be alone. I have walked this path. I know how hard it can be. You may think that nobody who cares is watching, but we are watching and we will do what we can to help, because we do care. I will repeat myself, as long as you hold onto the faith that has brought you here, the faith that can deliver you from here, you will never be alone. But the burden still rests on you alone. I hope that we are right about you. I hope that you are a leader with the desire to lead others, but even if you become just another sacrificial lamb... you have still served a purpose. Brigadier General Kendrick believes in you and so do I. We think you can become the leader we have been hoping for. The question is who do you believe in and how strong is that belief? We know you have the heart, but the real question is do you have the faith?"

   She stood there just looking at him for a moment. James looked back as he considered what she had just said. She wasn't the one or at least not the only one who had marked him out as a target. Had he been sent here for a specific purpose? Was he to become a leader? He stood up slowly and after a brief moment nodded his head. Then he snapped her one of his best salutes and held it. Colonel Madison just smiled and shook her head before retuning his salute. Then she extended her hand as she spoke. "I think you may even surprise Kendrick. You certainly have courage. If you have half that much faith you may surprise all of us. Good luck Cadet Cooper. I look forward to seeing how far you go and what you do along the way." Then she laughed. "Just remember, David defeated the giant with a single small stone, but he spent many years of his life fleeing from a King before he became a King. Even after he was anointed as the King, David had to run sometimes. Don't ever be afraid to run when you have to run." She was still laughing as she walked away.

    James watched her for a minute and then started laughing as he headed back towards his unit. He wasn't sure what to make of all of this. It definitely seemed that his problems were getting much bigger each day. He had been hoping that they would start to shrink once the training was over and the classes started. Maybe they still would, but somehow he was very doubtful of that now. If he had been noticed enough to have drawn a general's attention in Washington, D.C. then he had little hope of ever having any peace. As he walked one of the few cadres who joined them each week at services moved to walk with him. Samuel was the firstee who always spent time talking with Colonel Madison as they waited for everyone to arrive. He was a high ranking firstee too. There were only a few who stood above him in rank, at least at Jack's Valley, and even they seemed to avoid conflicts with him. Samuel Adam King was his full name. He was a bit shorter than James, but probably weighed more. He was the only one of the upper cadre who had allowed any Doolie to call him by his first name. He was very selective about who and when he allowed that. Not even all of those who attended services on Sunday were allowed that privilege. James had been one of those few, but now he had to wonder if that was a good thing or not.

    Samuel finally spoke as they continued walking back towards the unit. "I guess that little talk must have really rattled you, though you couldn't tell it from looking at you now." He hesitated as if offering James a chance to respond. James said nothing, so Samuel continued. "Look, I don't know all that she said. I suspect it was a lot like what I heard, but I heard it during my third year. I do know that you are a marked man now, but you were already marked or she wouldn't have done that so publicly. I doubt she told you, but she did that to try to deflect some attention from you. A lot of people here will give Christians trouble just to avoid trouble for themselves. They really don't care one way or the other about us. They just do whatever they can to advance themselves. Those folks won't have anything to do with you now, not if it can be avoided. You are no longer an open target. If they strike at you now they know it might bring someone else down on them. They will leave you to the folks who actually hate all Christians."

    Samuel waited again, whether for a reply or just to let what he had said soak in, James couldn't have said. James just continued walking and tried not to let anything show about what he was thinking or feeling. At the moment James was too confused to be certain of what he thought or felt about any of this. Finally Samuel continued again. "You may think she did more harm than good and honestly she may have, but we will probably never know for certain. All you can be sure of is that the ones who were going to cause you the most grief haven't been changed. They will try to make you leave or forsake your faith, to just go along to get along. Either way it goes though, they will win and you will lose if you let it happen. I just want you to know that you can stand firm. You may get knocked down and you will be hurt, but I think you have what it takes to survive it and be a better officer for it. Not everyone is against us. There are enough officers in high positions to keep them from just totally smashing us. They can and will do what they can to help us. If you can handle the abuse and are truly a leader, you will move up in spite of all the crap the others shovel on you." Samuel smiled and said one last thing before he moved away as they approached the tent where James stayed. "You may not know it, but we have your back. You still have to face them alone, but I promise you that you will be facing them. We won't let them hit you from behind. You are not alone."