Chapter One---- part two

   

 Andy did a lot of praying as he struggled to sleep that night. When they arrived for church the next morning Pamela was waiting for him near the door. They had been dating for three years now. He had told her he needed to work on the farm yesterday and had avoided her calls last night. He knew she was upset the minute he saw her. She wasted no time getting him away from everyone. Walking arm in arm with him towards the classroom for the high school kids she asked the question he had known she would ask. "You look like you were up all night. I’ve never seen you come to church looking like this. Something is wrong. I’ve seen it for days, but today it’s worse. Will you tell me what is wrong? Is it something I’ve done?"

   He quickly took her by the arm and guided her towards a spot away from any people or doors. Once there he spoke in a near whisper to her. "Pam, I am sorry, but this isn't the time or place for us to talk. I promise I will talk with you after church. You haven't done anything. This is all me. I’ll walk you home after church. Since we didn't go out last night, nobody will think twice about it. We can talk without anyone else to hear. Please, just wait until then. No more questions. I am sorry, but I need you to wait at least that long." Pamela clearly wasn't happy and she was about to protest again. Andy reached up to place his hand on her cheek as he asked her to wait once more. "Please just wait until we can be alone. I promise this is nothing you have done. I will explain after church... I promise."

    Pamela frowned for a moment and then nodded her head in agreement. She clearly wasn't happy and she was still very concerned, but at least she wasn't demanding answers immediately. Andy moved to start them walking on to their classroom before she could change her mind. Once the class began, things seemed to be better. There were ten other young people in the class. They were all soon involved in the day's lessons and the discussions were lively. Andy took part too, laughing and sharing in the class discussions, even though his mind really wasn't on the lesson at all. He was still trying to figure out what he could and should tell Pam about all of this. If he told her the real issue in his life, would she keep his secret? It seemed like things were getting more complicated with each passing day. This was his decision to make and yet every day more people became involved. He was still trying to sort it all out as class ended and they walked into the sanctuary for services. Pamela had seemed ready to say something more to him as they walked down the hallway together, but had just shook her head instead. He was relieved that she hadn't pressed it further. He could feel the tension radiating from both of them, but so far it didn't seem anybody else was aware of it. Just one more hour and then he would have to do something, even if he had no more idea of what that was to be, than he did of what his final decision would be. This was one time when he was ready to pray for the pastor to run long with the sermon. He needed all the time he could get. As they began the song service, he did pray for help finding the right words to say to Pam.

    When the pastor took his place behind the pulpit Andy was still trying to sort out his thoughts. Pastor David was an older pastor, but he was very involved with the youth in the church. His own kids were all grown and married. He seldom saw them or their children, except on holidays. He considered the members of his church, and the community as a whole, to be his family now. Today his soft deep voice, which often made Andy drowsy, caused a totally different response. It wasn't just the tone of his voice that seemed different. It was the words he spoke. Pastor David always had a point by point sermon that was clear and usually very direct. He always spoke directly from the Bible, but he made his sermons fit the current events and issues in the world. There were times when his words stirred up a lot of debate within his congregation. However, it was seldom that the debates became heated enough to require Pastor David to step in. The few times he had stepped in to separate the sides everyone knew they had made a mistake. "Debate is good for the spirit, but when debate becomes hate, it kills the spirit." That was a phrase everybody had heard Pastor David use to correct his flock when the debates became too heated. He actually used the term 'his children' more than his flock when he was talking about the church members.

   Normally Pastor David would start his sermons with a warm greeting to everyone. Today he seemed almost reserved as he welcomed everyone. When that was done, he turned to glance at the screen behind him where the topic of his sermon for the day was displayed. Each of the key points would be put up below that topic along with the Bible verses he was using.  As he turned back to face the congregation, he spoke to his wife who handled the screen for him. "Please take that down dear. I won't be using that sermon today." Pastor David had everyone's attention now. After a moment of just looking out across the congregation, he began to speak once more. "I can see that you are all wondering what has brought on this sudden change. You all know that I am not a man given to sudden changes."

     He smiled as he spoke those last words and people began to relax, just a bit. Taking a deep breath he began to talk and explain why he had changed his mind so suddenly. "Today, I got up and came in to preach my sermon with the same conviction and excitement that I have every Sunday. I was certain it was a good sermon and that there was nothing in it to cause even a slight dispute." That brought grins and even a few soft laughs from the people. "Then when I got to church and went into my office for my morning quiet time, everything changed. I knelt and prayed, just like I do each day. I prayed my normal sort of prayer and then just knelt there alone, in the silence, listening, as I do each day. That was when something changed." He stopped talking for a moment and it was easy to see from the expression on his face that he was deeply troubled. When he looked back up everyone was almost holding their breath, waiting to hear what had changed.

    "Brothers and sisters, I have felt something all week long, but nothing I could see or explain. It was just a burden that seemed to be resting on me. It wasn't a major thing, just a little buzz in the back of my mind. Something was just not right. I didn't let that trouble me too deeply. I knew that in His time the Lord would reveal whatever it was to me. It couldn't be anything too major or I would have known what it was. Then today as I sat there in silence, that burden suddenly became very heavy. I can't really explain it. I just knew I needed to do something. I felt a need to stand up and go do something. I just had no idea what that something was. I prayed again and asked the Lord to show me what it was that I needed to do, but nothing changed. I still felt that tremendous burden upon me, but had no idea of what it was." Then he looked down and smiled before raising his face to them again.

    "I did get something though as I knelt there. I felt a peace come into me. I still didn't know what was wrong or what the Lord wanted from me, but I knew that was alright. I stood up and went about my normal Sunday morning routine after that. The burden hadn't been lifted from me, but it was no longer bearing me down. I was still troubled, but I knew I just needed to keep doing my work for the Lord. Then I came into the sanctuary just before classes let out. As I was standing in here greeting folks I saw our youth start streaming in for church. Then I knew the answer. I understood what was wrong and I knew what I needed to do." Smiling he looked directly at the youth section in the congregation. Andy felt like Pastor David was looking directly at him alone.

   Looking back out over the rest of the congregation Pastor Davis grinned before he continued. "I don't want all of you older folks getting too relaxed thinking I am going to be preaching a sermon for just the youth. You all know I have some of those I use from time to time, but not today. You older folks can just forget any idea of taking your normal Sunday morning naps today, because you need to hear this too." That brought laughter to many of the congregation. "Today, I am preaching a message that will have a very personal meaning for each and every one of you. The youth walking in may have been what opened my eyes, but each of us must face the topic of my sermon almost daily too." Pastor David smiled once more and shook his head before continuing.

    "Normally I spend a week, sometimes two, working on my sermon before it is ready. I have rarely done one in just a day or two. Usually that was when I saw a need to address something immediately. I almost never say anything publicly or even privately without giving it some careful consideration first. I know that my words matter. They matter to me. They matter to you. They matter to the Lord." He drew a long breath before he continued, while still moving his gaze across the entire congregation as he spoke. "Today you will hear me speaking from the heart. I have no script. I have done no preparation. I should be terrified of what I might say wrong, but I am not. I am at peace. Even though I don't know exactly what I will say today, I know it will be right. I can't explain in words why or how I know. I just know."

    Now he once more directed his eyes at the youth section. He gave them a loving smile as he spoke. "Today you walked into the Lord's house and delivered a message to me. A message I wasn't expecting. You never even knew you were bringing me the message, but you still delivered it, at the perfect moment, in the perfect way. I want to start by thanking you for being faithful each Sunday about coming to worship our Lord. I fear too many of the young people today don't understand how important that is to them and their future life." Looking back at the rest of the congregation, Pastor David smiled. "I fear that the adults of the world today are also lacking in understanding of the importance of worship in their lives. Now don't start thinking this is going to be a sermon on the need to be more faithful and worship daily rather than just on Sunday morning. That is a good sermon and one that I should preach more often, but it is not my message today."

   "Today, as these young people were walking in, I suddenly thought about how much their lives are about to change. I saw them laughing and talking as if everything was just as it always has been." He stopped and shook his head. Then he looked at the youth section again as he raised his voice just a bit. "I suddenly understood that my burden was the burden of change. I saw it clearly. I had felt it, but hadn't understood how heavy that burden could be until I saw the seniors who will be graduating in a few short weeks time. They were smiling and laughing, but was their laughter genuine? They are facing some of the biggest changes they will ever face. Most of them are facing the biggest change they have faced in life so far. They are not alone though." As he looked across the rest of the congregation, he spoke just a bit louder still. "Change is with each of us. Every day our world and indeed our very lives are changing." He lowered his voice back to normal now. "Some of those changes are good. Some are not. Some we have control over and some we have no control of. Some we can see coming and some just seem to happen. Change is a part of life. So why am I talking about it today?" He stopped to give a questioning look to the entire congregation.