This is part one of the first chapter of my book. I will post a short section each day, some days will be longer than other days because I will try to stop at changes in the story. This is a long one, about ten pages.
Chapter
One
Questions
and Answers
Andy was working
alone, repairing fences and water gates, after heavier than normal spring rains
had washed some out. He had received a letter in the mail a few days ago that
might well change his future. He had already received several other letters of
acceptance from top colleges he had applied to, but that last letter had been
the one he was waiting for. Now he was deeply troubled about which letter of
acceptance he would actually choose. He had to make his decision soon and it
was a major choice about his future life.
Everyone expected
him to attend a top college and get a degree in law or perhaps medicine. Law or
medicine was what three of his seven sisters had gotten their degrees in.
Jackie was now a lawyer in Washington, D.C. and Jodie was completing her
residency to become a doctor. Maggie had become a registered nurse who worked
in various hospitals in the region and lived in Richmond. All of the girls had
gone to college for some type of degree. Only four hadn't returned home yet,
the lawyer, the doctor, and the nurse being three of the four. Sally had
married while in college and relocated where her husband was an assistant
football coach for a small school in North Carolina, where she now taught 2nd
grade. Mary was a personnel manager at a nearby factory. Susan worked in the
local government as a department manager. They both had business degrees. His
youngest sister, Sandy, wanted to become a CPA and was currently going to the
local college while living at home. Except for the four oldest girls they all
lived fairly close to home. Those three younger girls still helped run the
produce farm with their mother when not working at their jobs.
Other people
thought he should get a degree in agri-business and return home to take over
the family farm eventually. His father was almost retirement age and would be
soon after Andy finished college, so that was a reasonable idea. Andy had
considered each of those options; but if he decided to accept the offer in that
last letter none of those were likely to happen. He had told no one that he
might even be considering a totally different future. Now, he had to quickly make
the decision about that future. Andy was uncertain of which choice would be the
right one. His mind was filled with
thoughts of those choices as he was trying to get the heavy steel cable
stretched back across the creek. He had set new posts in place to hold it
securely for the water gates to hang from. His father drove up in the truck as
he was working. Andy didn't even notice that until his father spoke to him. The
sound of his father's voice asking a question, "How is it going,
son?" startled Andy from his thoughts and his work.
In fact, Andy was
so startled by that voice from behind him that he jumped and dropped the cable
into the creek. Turning around, Andy grinned at his father who was now laughing
at him. Shaking his head Andy started back into the creek to get the cable once
more as he spoke. "Thanks Dad, I needed another dip in the creek to cool
off." Joshua, his father, said
nothing in reply. Instead he pulled on his gloves and moved to the edge of the
bank where he waited for his son to hand him the end of the cable. He continued
to chuckle as he watched his wet and embarrassed son retrieve the cable. Once
they both had the cable in hand the two of them worked in silence to get it
attached to the stretcher and pulled tight across the creek. Only after the
cable was being secured in place did either of them speak again. Joshua continued to tighten the cable clamps
as Andy unhooked the stretchers. Joshua's back was to his son as he began to
speak. "You want to tell me what is wrong yet? I have never been able to
drive up on you like that before and you have never been so jumpy either. Son,
I have been watching you for the last few weeks. I thought it was just
graduation jitters, but this week something has really changed. If you want to
talk about it, this would be a good place to do it without anybody else
around."
Andy stopped what
he was doing for a moment to stare at his father's back. After a brief instant
he resumed his work and put the stretchers back in the fencing box. When he
turned around he sat down on the edge of the tractor bucket and waited for his
father to finish up. When he had finished securing the cable his father walked
over to join him. He sat down beside Andy after putting the tools in the
fencing box that sat in the tractor bucket. He said nothing. Andy shook his
head as he let out a long breath before speaking. "I never could hide
anything from you could I, Dad?" Joshua just chuckled as he shook his head
and replied. "Son, I reckon you could, if you wanted to, but as far as I
know you have never had a reason for wanting to hide much of anything from
anyone before." Andy just smiled and nodded his head in agreement. Then he
began to talk.
"Dad, I don't
know what I should do. You know I have been accepted at Johns Hopkins and
Harvard, as well as the University of Virginia. I also applied at M.I.T. for
electrical engineering and they accepted me too." Joshua waited in silence
as if he knew his son wasn't finished. After a long pause Andy spoke again in a
very soft slow voice. "Dad, I asked our senator for a letter of nomination
to the Air Force Academy too. He gave it to me and I have been accepted. I have
to make a decision by the end of next week if I want to go."
Joshua smiled and
nodded his head without looking at his son. Then he spoke just as softly.
"I knew that you had applied son. I sort of figured that might be the
problem." Andy sat there in stunned silence, looking at his dad. His dad
didn't look at him at all. Joshua just shrugged his shoulders and grinned as he
spoke again, still looking out across the creek. "You know that Bill and I
were friends for years, good friends, long before he decided to run for office.
When you asked him for that letter and asked him not to tell me, it nearly
killed him, but he didn't tell me. His secretary saw the notice that you had
been approved. She called to congratulate your mom, but I answered the
call. She had no idea that we didn't
know you had even applied. Bill called me later to apologize and explain why he
hadn't told me."
James just laughed
and shook his head as he spoke. "I never thought about them sending a
notice to his office. I guess I should have thought about that and about
Martha. Martha and Mom are closer than sisters. There was no way Martha could
have kept this secret from Mom." Joshua laughed as he agreed. "Yes,
you should have remembered that. Now both our tails are going to be in a sling
when Mom does find out." Andy
looked at his dad for a long moment, in shock once again, before he spoke.
"You mean Mom doesn't know? How did you manage to keep her from finding
out? I mean there is no way Martha wouldn't have called back again, if Mom
didn't call her back to talk about it." Joshua nodded but he was no longer
grinning when he answered those questions. "When I explained that you
hadn't told us anything about it Martha was about to bust. Then I asked her not
to say anything to your Mom. I told her that I figured you would tell us when
you were ready and news like this should come from you, not from the rumor
mill. That shook her enough to keep her quiet, but you owe her an apology once
this is settled."
Andy let out
another long breath and nodded as he looked at the ground. It was a few minutes
before he was able to speak again. When he did speak he still couldn't look at
his dad. "I am sorry that I didn't tell you guys, but I wanted to make
this decision on my own. I didn't think I wanted to have you guys telling me
what you thought about it. I thought I could just wait and make a quick
decision after I found out if they would even take me." Joshua just nodded
and waited for his son to continue. Andy hesitated for only a moment before he
did go on. "Now I have no idea what I should do. Everybody expects me to
go to college and become a doctor or a lawyer.
A few think I should just take over the farm someday. Maybe I should, but I just don't know. Dad, I
love this farm. I love working with the animals and working the land. I would
rather be doing that than most anything else, but..."
Andy's voice had
started out quick and urgent, but had slowed and faded away as he was talking.
A long moment of silence filled the air until he could continue. He spoke
slowly and more hesitantly now. "Dad, things are changing. I’m not sure I
can stay home to work the farm like you and Mom did. I know how hard it has
been for you guys to just keep the bills paid lately. I know that you both
worry how you will be able to survive if either of you have a serious health
problem. I don't think I really want to be a lawyer or even a doctor. I have
listened to everybody talking and things just don't feel right to me anymore. I
asked Jackie about becoming a lawyer and she told me I wouldn't like it. She
says the laws aren't really very fair sometimes. She advised me to consider medicine
where I could always help people, but I don't think that would be much
different now. I’ve heard Mom on the phone telling Jodie to just hang in there
and do what she has to do until she finishes the internship. I know that Jodie
isn't allowed to help some people and is forced to help others that she doesn't
think should get help, all because of the new rules and regulations on
healthcare."
"I have seen
lots of the people I know go off to college and now they are working at a
burger joint or just living back at home with their parents, because they can't
find work that has anything to do with what they went to college to learn. It seems like there are fewer jobs every year
and it’s getting harder for young people to find work. I just don't know what I
should do. Even with all of my academic scholarships I would still have to work
a part time job year round to pay for college or take out loans. I just don't
know what I should do. I thought I could decide for myself, but nothing seems
to make sense anymore. It all looks like a wasted effort in the end. I wonder
sometimes if I should even go to any college. I could just stay and work on the
farm. Maybe I could even get a part time job somewhere close by at night."
Andy threw his
hands up as he shook his head and looked off across the farm. He was clearly
very upset and very disturbed about what he should do. Joshua looked over at
his son for a long moment and then looking away he began to speak. "Son, I
hear lots of excuses for not doing things, but I haven't heard many reasons for
doing something. You gave me a reason why you would want to stay on the farm,
but you have given me no reason for why you want something else. Tell me one
thing. Why did you even apply to the Academy? You have never done anything
without a reason before. Why did you apply?" Joshua chuckled before adding
his next comment. "They weren't always good reasons you had, but you did
always have a reason for everything you have done." They were grinning at
each other now. The grin faded from Joshua's face as he asked his son that last
question again. "Son, can you tell me why you applied to the Academy? I
think that answer might help you find some of the other answers."
Andy was silent for
a long time before he spoke. When he did speak his voice was stronger than it
had been. "Dad, I have been watching what is going on. Europe is a mess.
The Middle East seems ready to explode. America seems to be losing respect and
influence everywhere. I have heard you and the other men talking at church too.
Sometimes I wonder if we are heading towards Armageddon and wonder why I even
worry about this stuff." Andy paused for a long moment and then continued.
"Then I start thinking about why things are the way they are. Dad, I just
know I need to be doing something. I don't know what or why, but I know I must
do something. A lot of my friends are looking at the military as a chance to
have a secure future, but a lot of them can't even get that anymore. I
considered enlisting, but I decided not to just enlist. I considered trying to
get into West Point, but I just don't like where our troops are going or what
they are being asked to do. That is why I decided on the Air Force. I want to
be able to make decisions and have responsibility, not just do whatever I am
ordered to do. I know I will still have to follow orders, but as an officer
I’ll be responsible for others and maybe I can do something, even if I don't
know what that will be. If I actually become a pilot I should have at least
some control over what I do. Does that make any sense?"
Joshua smiled and
put his hand on his son's shoulder. Then he spoke to him in a firm confident
voice. "Yes, that makes a lot of sense. The problem is you still don't
seem to know how you can make a difference. You know why you want to make a
difference, but not how to do it. Knowing what you want to do is good, but
knowing what you need to do is more important. Nobody can do a good job if they
don't know what the job is first. You need to know what to do before you can go
out and do it." Andy nodded as he replied. "But how can I know what I
need to do? I don't even know what I want to do for certain? Dad, the world is
heading for real trouble, but what can I do to change that? I am just one guy.
Can anything I decide to do really make a difference? One man alone can't
change the whole world."
Joshua laughed out
loud. Smiling after he had finished laughing, he spoke once more while looking
right into his son's eyes. "What makes you think I have any of those answers?
I am just one man too. I do the best I can. I do what I see that needs to be
done. That isn't always what I wanted to do, but that is all I know how to do
and there are lots of times when I don't think that is enough." Then
Joshua stood up and looked all around. Taking a deep breath he seemed to relax
before he spoke again. "Son, I don't have the answers you seem to need. I
do know who does though. Have you talked with Him about this? Have you asked
God what you should do?" Andy looked down and shook his head. Joshua
smiled as he spoke again. "Then why don't we both ask Him right now?"
Joshua watched
Andy nod his head as he slowly dropped from his seat on the tractor bucket, to
his knees on the ground. Joshua knelt down by his son and waited with his head
bowed for his son to begin. Andy let out a long slow breath and then began to
pray. "Father in heaven, I need answers. I don't even know the questions I
should be asking though. I thought I was ready. I thought I could make my own
choices and start my own life. Now I... I don't know." Andy was silent for
a long moment before he continued. "Father, I don't even know what I
should be asking, but I know that you know. Help me decide. Show me where I
need to go and what I need to do with my life. I am just one man and I don't
see how I can do something that will truly matter, that will truly change the
world I live in for the better. I pray in the name of Jesus that you will help
me see the right choice for me. I pray that you will show me what I need to do
to make a real difference in this world."
Joshua had
listened to his son's prayer. He had to hide a smile as he heard the
uncertainty and perhaps even a hint of fear in his son's voice. He wasn't
smiling because of that doubt and fear. He was smiling because God had just
given him an answer for his son. Taking a deep breath Joshua prepared to finish
this prayer. Joshua spoke in a soft, quiet voice instead of his normal strong,
firm voice that he used when he prayed at church. "Father, I know you have
heard my son's prayer. I know you already have the answers, even if he doesn't
know what to ask yet. Lord, I heard you begin to answer my son's questions. We
both know he is just one man, but you know that one man can make a difference.
One man can indeed change the world. Lord, you proved that when you came to
walk among us as a man. You changed the world. You made a difference. Thank you
for giving us one answer to one question today. I pray that you will help us to
hear the rest of the answers you have for the questions my son has in his heart
and mind. I pray in the name of Jesus that we will remember to look to you for
all the answers we need in our lives. I pray that we will always remember the
'one man' who saved us all. Amen."
They both stood up
now that the prayer was finished. Andy looked at his father but said nothing.
He turned and walked back to get on the tractor seat. Only then did he speak.
Joshua had walked back towards his truck which was parked behind the tractor.
He stopped and listened as his son spoke. "Jesus may have been one man,
but he was no ordinary man Dad. He was the son of God." Joshua nodded and spoke as he climbed into
the cab of his truck. "That is true. Jesus was the son of God, but he was
still a man, a man just like you or me." He started the truck and prepared
to pull out and then he spoke again. "You are right though, Jesus was no
ordinary man... but who says a man has to be ordinary when he has God to help
him?" Joshua drove away, leaving Andy to consider things alone; alone with
the Lord.
Andy watched his
father drive away. After a minute he started the tractor and moved it over to
where he had left the panels that would hang down from the cable to make the
water gate. Once he had them chained onto the bucket, he used the tractor and
lift to take them back down into the creek. Once he had them in place, he shut
the tractor off and went to work hanging the panels back in place. It took a
good while to get all three of the panels hung in place and fastened together,
but once it was done the water gate was ready to hold the cattle securely
again. His mind had only been half on his work. He was thinking about what his
dad had said to him. He was thinking about what he wanted to do with his life
and what he needed to do with it. As he had been working he knew that his dad
was right. Nobody had told him he had to be ordinary. Nobody said he had to do
what everyone expected him to do. The problem was that he still didn't know
what he needed to do. He knew what was expected of him, but was that what he needed
to do? Was it even what he wanted to do?
Andy spent the rest of the day working on
the fences that needed repairing and thinking about what he should do. He did
manage to make one decision about his future. He was going to do more praying
about it and less thinking about it. He had one more week to decide. The
Academy had to have an answer by next Friday. That wasn't very long, but
somehow he knew it would be long enough. Just praying with his dad had helped
to ease his mind. Now he just had to wait for the answer to his prayer. Andy
was relieved when the subject of the Academy didn't come up that evening at
dinner. The look his dad gave him after saying grace at the table had assured
him that it would remain their secret. Andy didn't like hiding things from his
mom, but he didn't want to involve her in this either. It was something he knew
in his heart that he had to do on his own
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