Thoughts

  I have to admit that I am disappointed in the lack of interest people have in reading, but I also know that someone writing a book isn't too high on anyone's list except the person doing the writing. I hope the book is better than the response I see. I am afraid that people just don't care enough about the affairs of the nation or even about God to take the time out of their own affairs to spend with either one of those. That is really what my books are about, the lack of interest in the nation and God by the people.
   I am going to keep posting a little each day at least until I finish posting the first book. That will take me into October. I am not sure if I will continue with book two in the series. I will decide that later. I have started on book three, but I am not ready to commit to it at the moment. I am fairly certain that I will finish it though. I seem to have an empty spot in me and I am constantly thinking about all of this. At the moment I am doing a lot of soul searching and praying. I am not sure if I am waiting on God or if God is waiting on me at the moment. These are the kind of days when I feel lost and alone... even when I know in my heart that I am never alone.

Chapter Two ----part ten

    Monday was the beginning of a new future for Andy in many ways. He had gone with his oldest sister to D.C. for the week. He needed to get his military boots and he wanted to get away from home for a few days. The idea of going to D.C. had actually been Jackie's, but it sounded great to him. He would have his days free to do what he needed to do and just think, with nobody around to distract him. At night he could spend some time with Jackie and her husband. He didn't get to see them often and he had missed Jackie. She had been a sophomore when he was born and he had only a few memories of her, but she had always seemed to understand him when nobody else did. He was only closer to Sandy among all of his sisters. He started his day by going jogging with Jackie. They were out with the sun, so there were few people out yet where she did her running every day. It was a nice park in a very nice neighborhood.

    Jackie and he did a lot of talking that first day while they jogged and every day that week. He learned that she had been trying to get pregnant for a while and was about to give up. He also learned that she was more concerned about his career choice than she had admitted. She was directly involved with a lot of stuff that had made her very concerned about the direction of things in the nation and its courts. Her husband worked directly with people in congress on a regular basis too. They spent a lot of time talking to him about the current political conditions. Andy soon learned that the military was indeed being used to shape the direction of many events in the world, far more than even he had realized. He also learned that he would need to be very aware of politics as an officer. On his third night there, Jackie had her husband introduce him to his friend Jason. Jason was a Major in the Air Force who was currently stationed at the Pentagon. That introduction would prove to have a big effect on Andy and on his career. Jason helped Andy get the boots and other items that he would need at the Academy. He even took Andy to the Pentagon one evening for a tour. That was where Andy began to learn a lot more about his future. Andy had met Jason at the Pentagon after most people who worked there were already leaving. He had tried to call him Major, but Jason told him he would get to do plenty of that soon enough. The tour had been almost over when Jason introduced him to his boss. Jason hadn't attended the academy. He had gone ROTC in college and progressed along that path. His boss was a one star general who was an Academy graduate. Andy quickly found out this was the real reason behind the entire 'tour'. General Kendrick invited them to come to his office so he could talk to Andy about the Academy. It seemed innocent enough until those doors closed and the general took his seat. Then it all changed very quickly.

   "Well, I see what you meant about the resemblance, tall, dark hair, bluish green eyes, and good looking. He does look a lot like his sister." The general laughed at the surprised look on Andy's face. "The first thing you should learn is that nothing will ever be exactly what it seems anymore. You are now in a world filled with hidden agendas and motives. I am the one who arranged for this 'tour'. I know your sister personally. When I learned that you were headed to the Academy, I knew I had to talk with you. I am going to make some assumptions. If I get any wrong stop me. First, you are a Christian, and you don't like what you see going on in the world. You also want to do something to change it. The best way you saw to be able to do that was in politics or the military. Politics don't interest you, so that left the military. Navy is out, you are a farm boy, and have no real interest in leaving home to see the world. Army was possible, but you didn't like a lot that they are sent to do. That leaves the Air Force. They are very much in the front on everything, but they seem to be able to have a little more control of what they actually do. Did I miss anything?"

    Andy was stunned to hear all of that. He glanced at Jason who just smiled, but never moved. Turning to face Brigadier General Kendrick, Andy nodded his head as he answered. "No sir, I think you got it all about right." Now the general leaned forward. "Good, you don't get rattled easily. You should be able to handle things. Son, you need to hear this, but if you say anything outside this office about what I tell you I will have your tail for dinner, your head for a footrest, and your hide for a rug. Do I make myself clear?" Andy didn't hesitate. "Yes Sir!" The general just smiled and then leaned back. After a moment he began to talk. This time his tone was the same friendly one it had been outside the office.

    "Very well, I think I can trust you. Andy, we need more men like you, but the truth is we are getting fewer every year and those have a tough go of it. I think you already know that the government and a lot of folks in the military have effectively declared war on Christians. What you may not know, is just how serious they are about it. Things were bad enough when I was at the Academy. Now they are a lot worse. You will be reprimanded for any gathering for religious purposes other than a Sunday service and you will only be expected to attend a single service, not morning and night both. In addition to that, if you take a Bible with you it will make your life a lot more difficult. Best to carry a small one that you can keep secured out of sight. Unless you are any religion except Christian you can worship daily as long as it is done alone. As a Christian, any more than once a week will cause you even more problems." He stopped and just watched Andy for a minute before starting again.

    "Now after hearing all of that, I hope you can manage to hang onto your faith. I am a Christian, but I don't make a big deal of it. If I didn't have this star I wouldn't even tell you that much. Things have changed and are still changing. It will take strong willed men with even stronger faith to make a difference that matters. What you need to understand is that you will have very little support and see even less, even when it is there. They can make life a living hell, but the fact is they can't do anything that will really matter, not unless you try to push back too hard. I pulled your file. You have a good head and from the looks of you, I don't think you will have any problems with the physical training. The only issues for you will be the psychological ones. You can't let them get inside your head. If they ever do, it is over for you. They will win. You will have a few friends who will support you and maybe even support your faith, but you have to learn how to survive without that support too. I did and I think I have at least slowed down the changes. You can make a difference too, but you will pay a high price to do it."

    After that he sat there silently watching Andy and waiting. This time it was Andy who leaned back. He studied both of the officers for some time before he finally spoke. "I will accept that you are trying to help me, mostly because you know my sister. Maybe you do want to make a difference in things, but why me? You didn't set this up just to help Jackie or even to help me. What is your hidden agenda? What is your motive for stepping in now?" Andy was careful to try and hide any emotion in his voice or reveal anything with his face. That was one thing Jackie had really impressed on him while they were jogging every morning. As a lawyer she had learned to see more and hear more than most people. She had tried to teach him as much as she could in such a short time. The general was very good at hiding his emotions. He showed nothing, but Jason didn't quite manage to hide his surprise before Andy saw it.

    Brigadier General Kendrick sat there for a moment before he began to nod his head. Then he leaned forward once more as he spoke. This time his voice was more commanding. "My agenda is to make sure that when things come to a head we still have enough Christian officers left to make a real difference. My motives are likely the same ones you have. I don't like what I see happening in our world in general and our nation in particular. Somebody has to be prepared to stand and fight when the time comes for what is morally right according to God's law, not just according to the laws of man. It will take a united group of men and women to make that stand." He leaned back and after a moment grinned as he shook his head. "I honestly don't know exactly why I decided to step into this. Normally I watch and wait, but for some reason, I just knew I couldn't wait this time. Believe it or not, I have said all I have to say." With that he stood up and showed them to the door. At the door he shook Andy's hand as he spoke one last word to him. "I hope you are as strong in your faith as you are in your mind and body. You could make a difference with that kind of strength, intelligence, and faith working together. Good luck to you."

    Jason hadn't said much until they were well out of the Pentagon. Then he had just warned Andy not to mention any of this to anyone, not even Jackie. Andy had promised he wouldn't and thanked Jason. He also told him to tell the General thanks and that he would give it a lot of thought. The remainder of his week at D.C. had been uneventful.  He had enjoyed his visit and he had a lot to think about. He was glad to head home Saturday morning. He hadn't planned to deal with all of this while he was in D.C., but he was glad he had learned what he had. The world seemed to be changing more than he had realized and maybe faster too. He still knew in his heart this was the right choice, but the more he learned the less he seemed to know. Once he got back home he started training again in earnest. He knew he was in pretty good condition, but he wanted to be in great condition. He was scheduled to leave the third Friday in May and he wanted to be in the best condition possible by then. He spent as much time as possible with his family and friends. His time with Pamela became more limited as the days passed. He had a lot of good times with his friends, but each time they parted it was a little more somber.

   The biggest problem for him wasn't friends or even Pamela. The biggest issue for him was his parents. He worked with them both each day, but it was hard not to see them dreading each day that passed. He finally made another decision that he knew was going to be even harder on them all at first, but he knew it would be the best for him. He made them promise not to go with him. That had really ticked the girls off, but his mom had finally ended their objections. She just told them that he was right about this. It would be easier for her to say goodbye at home. She wasn't even going to go to the airport with him. Then she blew everything up when she told the girls they couldn't go either. She thought it should just be him and his dad who went to the airport. Andy never told her so, but he had wanted it that way too.

   The big day finally arrived. Pamela had said her goodbyes a couple of days before. She didn't want to watch him leave either. The family was all there to say goodbye. He was going an extra week earlier than he was scheduled to report. There was a sponsor family that would be putting him up near the Academy grounds until the big day arrived.  Everybody was there to say goodbye. Even Pastor David and his wife had come. Andy managed not to cry, but there were tears in his eyes when they pulled out of the drive. His dad wasn't any better than he was though. They didn't talk for a long time and when they finally did it wasn't about anything to do with him leaving. It was a nice trip. They talked and laughed a lot once they got started. His dad didn't go all the way in with him. He just walked with Andy inside the airport door and they said goodbye there. No tears, but it was still hard to let go and watch his dad walk back out the door. Andy waited until he couldn't see his dad at all and then he got in line to be screened. He didn't have much, you weren't allowed much at the start. Once actually on the plane Andy began to relax a little. He was on his way, the first step into a new life and a new future. He leaned back in the seat and tried to rest. Somehow he knew he wouldn't be getting much rest once he put on that first uniform. At least he wasn't nervous anymore. He was ready. It was time and he was ready.

Chapter Two --- part nine

   Life went on and he did go out to the drive-in with Pamela. While it was a very interesting evening, it was nothing like the last one. They spent more time talking and laughing than fooling around. She did try to 'brand' him again, but he was having none of it this time. It probably had helped that Tony stopped by the truck to whine about the concussion he had from Andy swatting him in the back of his head, for no reason, according to Tony.  On Sunday, at church, Pastor David called Andy up front and made the official announcement to everyone at the end of church. He had asked permission and warned Andy he was going to do it, but it had still been very uncomfortable standing up there while everybody filed by. Then the last week of school for Andy began. It was mostly practice for graduation for the seniors, that and last goodbyes to the underclass and teachers. That wasn't too bad. Now all that was left to face was the actual graduation. That would happen Friday night and it was going to be a major event for everyone. Andy was looking forward to it and dreading it. All of the family would be in to see him graduate and make his speech as valedictorian. He had called each of his sister's while he talked with his folks each night during the week, but they hadn't been able to talk much and he knew they would each corner him at some point. 

    Much to his shock, everyone came in Thursday evening rather than Friday. He had expected them to arrive just in time for graduation. The house was sheer chaos that night, but in the best of ways. It was almost like being a little boy again. At least all of the girls treated him like he was a little boy. The biggest shock was the next day though. They all got up and had a big family breakfast. Then his dad and mom went out for a day on the lake. No explanation, they just took the boat and a basket of food and left. Andy found himself alone with all seven of his sisters. They had all come home alone. Husbands would be arriving later this evening for graduation. Until then it was just them. Andy quickly realized that this was all planned. He would be at their mercy all day and somehow he didn't expect much mercy. They spent most of the morning just messing around the house. They talked and laughed about the past as well as about plans for the future. Then just before noon they made him get his truck and drive them all down to the swimming hole. As soon as they asked he had turned on Sandy. She just grinned and stuck her tongue out at him.

    That was the start of something very special. He wasn't sure he knew what to think about it, but he did know he would never forget it. They did exactly what he had expected them to do when they asked him to drive them to the swimming hole. They made him go skinny dipping with them. Well almost skinning dipping. They had underwear on, but nothing much was hidden after it was wet. Oh they all stayed in the water like they had most of the time when they were kids, but still. They had made him strip down and dive in first. He knew better than to argue too much since all seven of them were in on this. Once he was in they took his clothes and locked them in the truck. Then they hid the keys. He had to turn his back, which he gladly did, when they were all ready to jump in. The water was cold, but as long as you stayed under, it wasn't too bad. It was actually more fun than he had expected it to be. He only got embarrassed once to any extent. That was when they decided it was time to get out. The girls insisted they all get out together. They might be his sisters, but they were grown women now, not little girls. He remembered seeing some of them in various states of undress as teenagers, but not after he was old enough to really notice or after they were more women than girls. Getting out was about the only time he protested much about the whole deal. In the water they had some modesty. Once out of the water that went out the door. All that wet skimpy underwear was almost worthless as far as hiding anything.

   Jodie, the doctor, had just laughed at him when he had asked how they planned on getting out. Then she had walked right out on the bank and turned around facing them. "How about like this?" She said as she spread her arms and laughed. Andy had dropped his head and covered his eyes, but that had just been the beginning. All of the others had slowly gotten the nerve to do the same thing. They had stood out there teasing him for a couple of minutes. He had been determined to wait them out this time. It would be cold standing there almost naked, even if the sun was warm today.  Finally it was Jackie, the oldest, who managed to hit the mark with her comments. "Oh come on now. We may not be as hot and sexy as 'Miss Pamela,’ but we aren't that bad."

    Andy's head snapped up at her words before he thought about them still standing there almost naked. He glared at her for just a minute, trying not to look at anyone else and then suddenly it hit him. "Are you pregnant?" The rest of the girls all burst out laughing. Jackie turned a bit red and squirmed just a bit, before she regained her composure. "As a matter of fact I am!" She straightened up. "Why don't you take a good look? I think I look just fine for someone almost four months pregnant." Andy couldn't keep from doing just that. He did take a long look and not just at her. The rest of the girls had crowded close and were telling her how great she did look. Honestly, if he hadn't seen her without any clothes on he doubted he would have noticed, but now he doubted he could help but notice regardless of how she dressed. Shaking his head he gave in and started out of the water. He almost turned back when they started commenting on his body, but he knew it was too late. For that matter, it had been too late when they had decided to do this to begin with.

    As it turned out Jackie wasn't the only one expecting, Jodie was too. She had just found out, so she wasn't showing at all. In spite of his best efforts, Andy took a good long look at all of them while they all got dried off and dressed together. Most of the girls were about average height and skinny with light brown hair, like their mom. Jackie, the oldest, and Sandy the youngest were tall and a bit heavier build with almost black hair, like their dad and Andy. All of them were what he would have called real lookers. They seemed to think he would be considered a very hot fellow and they certainly didn't have any shame about discussing his build or anything else for that matter! Once dressed and back home they all had some coffee and fresh cookies while they laughed about their day. The only thing Andy would have changed about any of it was when they made him talk to them about Pamela and his intentions for her.

    Thank goodness Sandy had stood up for him. The rest were convinced he had gone all the way with Pam and should marry her. Sandy had finally stepped in and defended him for all she was worth. It turned out that she had been concerned enough to go talk to Pamela personally though. When he got upset over that, she had turned the tables on him. She reminded him of all the times he had went to 'have a talk' with boys they were dating, even before he was old enough to know much. The girls all remembered little brother defending their 'honor' at least once. In the end it all worked out. He still got the old, 'you won't be able to stop if you start,’ lecture, but he gave them as good as he got. They were still sitting there talking when everybody started to arrive for graduation. His mom and dad never said a word about what the kids had been doing when they arrived just before everybody else started to show up. Andy was pretty sure they knew about the skinny dipping. They had always known when they did it as kids, so it was likely they knew now. Since they didn't mention it, he didn't either. Jodie had sworn everyone to secrecy about her. She wanted to wait a little longer before making it official. Jackie had promised she would tell everyone soon, but she wanted to be the one that did tell everyone. All in all it had been a perfect day. A day spent together as kids for one last time, as Sandy had put it.

    The rest of graduation went off without a hitch. There were just under two hundred graduating seniors. Andy gave his speech and kept it as short as they would let him. It would have been even shorter, but the principal made him promise to do five minutes minimum. After graduation they all went back home. There were way too many people to use the house, so they used the hay barn, which was mostly empty, for the party. It went well into the morning and Andy got to tease three of his sisters about rolling in the hay, when they showed up with hay all in their hair at different times during the evening.  Since two were married and Steve was with Sandy again, nobody seemed to mind too much. Even mom had got in on the teasing. She could still make the girls blush when she wanted to, married or not. It had been a very special day and a wonderful night, but Andy was glad to finally get in a bed, even if it was the couch since they had everyone home.

    Most everybody hung around the rest of the weekend. They did lots of remembering and played lots of games. Pamela came over and spent part of Saturday with them. She took all of the teasing and abuse the girls gave her very well. In fact, before it was over, Andy was the one who was feeling ganged up on. There were some tearful goodbyes, even though the girls all knew they would see him again before he headed off to the Academy. Andy was glad that Jackie made the big announcement about her baby Saturday night. At least that put some of the focus on her for a while. Dad didn't show much one way or the other, but Mom had been very excited. That is until Martha called her "Granny". The shocked look on her face had been priceless. Even his dad had laughed at her expression, until she shot him a look that made him muffle his laughter. It had only made everybody else laugh even more though.

Chapter Two ---- part eight

    His first stop at the school was the counselor's office. She was stunned when he informed her he had received and was accepting an appointment to the Air Force Academy. She faxed his acceptance letter back to them and promised not to tell anyone until he said different. She would let him know when she received the conformation that his fax had been received and he was officially enrolled at the Academy with the next class. His original letter had said they would be forwarding all the paperwork he would need, since his approval was so late even before he gave them an answer. He was to simply destroy that paperwork if he had declined. There were still a few people who needed to hear about this from him directly. Next on that list would be Coach. Maybe he would understand when Andy told him where he was going. Since he had athletics first hour it was no issue for him to see Coach. Andy got there to find a few of the other guys, mostly seniors too, were already there. They wasted no time at all before teasing him when they got a look at the marks on his neck. Andy took it all in good spirits, but he worried how Pamela would take it. After a few minutes of razing, Coach shut down the teasing, he told them to get ready to go do some work at the track field. They could help him start securing training equipment for the summer since school was winding down. He wanted them to change into their workout stuff so they wouldn't get their classroom clothes dirty. Andy took the chance to follow Coach to his office and asked to talk with him. Coach invited Andy in and closed the door behind them before taking his seat.

    He motioned for Andy to sit down as he spoke. "So what is it you want to tell me?" Andy smiled as he sat down. Coach was direct when he talked to you, if nothing else. Andy leaned back and started talking. "Coach, I know you have been worried and wanted me to do something to use my abilities to help with college, but you need to know why I didn't do that. I am not going to go to a regular college. Even if I had, I didn't want to try to carry a full load of classes and do athletics too. I know you think I could do it with no real issues and maybe I could have. The thing is for me the education is more important. I mean I loved playing and competing, but for me it’s just playing. I can still do that without the pressure of competing on a team that needs to win for the school." Shaking his head Andy laughed. "I’m getting away from what I wanted to tell you. Coach, I am going to be attending the Air Force Academy. I wasn't certain I would actually go until Monday, but I am certain this is the right choice now. I hope you can understand now why I didn't want to use your connections to get looked at for athletic scholarships. I really do appreciate all you have done, and wanted to do, to help me, but I needed to do this for myself."

    Coach had been leaned back listening and watching until Andy said Air Force Academy. His chair had tipped forward then while his face had changed too. He had been very solemn, but now he seemed stunned. Andy waited after he was done, wondering what kind of reaction this was going to be. None of the others had taken it like he had expected, so why should Coach be different. Shaking his head Coach stood up and walked around to Andy. Andy stood up to meet him and took his hand when Coach extended it. They shook hands for a while, before Coach said anything at all. As they stopped shaking hands, Coach sat down on the edge of his desk and spoke. The excitement was easy to hear in his voice. "Well, that does explain a lot! I just couldn't understand why you were so reluctant to let me at least try to help you. Now it’s easy to see. I am very proud of you. There aren't many with the ability to do something like this and even fewer with the courage to try it alone. You will make a fine officer. I still think you should try to put your physical talents to use, but I do understand what you meant now about using them last night. So tell me how you managed all of this without anybody knowing about it."

    They talked for another ten minutes before a knock on the door ended things. Coach made the announcement to Andy's teammates. Most of the guys he needed to tell himself were there, so Andy didn't mind that too much. He knew it would be all over the school within minutes of class change though, so he asked to leave a little early. He still had one friend who he wanted to tell personally. He was waiting outside the classroom for Tony when the class was over. They had a few minutes between classes, so Andy would have time to talk with Tony. Tony was clearly surprised to see Andy waiting for him, but he didn't hesitate to go along when Andy motioned him towards an empty classroom. Once inside Andy wasted no time. He had to talk quickly so they would have at least a couple of minutes to spare before they had to hustle to their next classes.

    "I wanted you to hear it from me first, Tony. I’ve already told Coach and the team so it will be all over school in a few minutes. I applied to and have been accepted at the Air Force Academy." Then he waited to see what sort of response he would get from Tony. Tony just nodded as he studied Andy. Then he asked two simple questions. "Why did you apply and why the Air Force?" Andy grinned, relieved that Tony seemed to be alright with his decision. "The Air Force just felt right for me. I did consider the Army and even considered enlisting like you did, but... well I wanted something else. I want to make a real difference in things. Not that you can't by being enlisted in the Army. I just wanted to do more than I thought would be possible for me to do anywhere else."

    Tony listened and nodded his head. Then he stepped closer to Andy, still looking at him very seriously. "I can get that. I think I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. We have to do something. Everything is such a mess if we don't do something I am afraid of what may happen. It's good with me." Then he grinned. "I wish you had gone West Point though. I think I would like saluting you someday. You have always been a real trooper and looked out for your buddies. You would have been a great officer.  I considered trying, but I don't have what it takes for that. I’ll have to earn rank the hard way." Then he grinned. "Still, I guess I can understand why you decided to be a hot shot Air Force jock." Tony reached out and taking Andy by the chin turned his head so that he could see the marks on his neck better. "It does seem to come with some very interesting fringe benefits. Maybe I should have given it more thought?" Andy jerked back and gave Tony a rough shove backwards, but they were both laughing.

    Tony didn't bother shaking hands though. He just gave Andy a big bear hug and slapped his back. Then released him and stepped back shaking his head. "Lieutenant Cooper, you know it sounds right. I'm proud of you brother, proud of you. Just don't forget us guys down there doing the dirty work while you are up there soaring around the heavens. I expect you to have my back." Andy grinned and nodded his head. "You have my word. I want you to know that you are the one that helped me decide to try this. I figured if you had the guts to do the dirty work the least I could do would be to try and cover your butt." They laughed and headed towards class. Andy was almost late to his class, because of all of the people stopping him to talk about it. The rest of the day was spent mostly discussing his decision with everyone and being teased about those, 'fringe benefits.’ He was going to give Tony a good swat for starting that.

    Andy didn't get to see Pamela until late in the day. He wondered what she was going to have to say to him when he saw her walking up. Everyone else just seemed to scatter, but they were all watching closely from a distance. Pam shook her head as she looked around. Then she focused her attention back on him. All she said was, "Fringe benefits?" Andy started to turn red and stammer. Then she started to grin and he knew it was all good. Putting her arm around him, she started down the hall with him. After a few steps she spoke quietly for him alone to hear. "I guess if you can take it, I can take it too... since I am the one that 'branded you' according to all the girls! But you better swat Tony a good one for me too or I swear I will brand you again this weekend." Giving him a quick peck on the cheek she walked away, giggling almost as much as the other girls in the hallway. At least she started turning red too when the guys starting the whistling and cat calls.

   It had been a long day, but when he got home he found out it wasn't quite over after all.  His mom was waiting for him at the door when he trotted into the yard. His stomach sank for just an instant until she began to grin. Once he was inside he knew what was up. Martha was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and a fresh baked cookie. Andy could still smell the aroma in the air. Andy dropped his pack and went to give her a hug. Once that was done he grinned at them both as he spoke. "I would ask what brings you home, but I guess I already know. I am so sorry for causing you all this trouble. I never even thought about them sending a notification to the Senator. Can you ever forgive me?" He was looking directly at Martha. He didn't want to see his mom at the moment. He would deal with her, but not yet. Martha just laughed. Then she motioned for him to sit down between her and where his mom had been sitting as she spoke. "See, I told you he would apologize to me first. I knew he would never have let it happen if he had thought about it. You should be very proud of him, Mary."

    Andy's mom sat down and smiled over at Martha before turning her eyes to Andy. "I am very proud of him. The Lord knows I won't sleep well, not when I think about what he has decided to do with his life, but I will still be very proud of my son. Well, now that all of the apologies are done, why don't we talk about all the bats I have been seeing around here lately?" Her innocent looking face as she said that made Andy's mouth fall open before he could manage an indignant, "MOM!", in reply. Martha and his mom were cackling with laughter by then. Andy spent a solid hour at that table and he knew it was definitely the longest hour of his life. He would never have believed his mom could think such things, much less talk about them so easily. At least one good thing came from it all when they finally let him go. He knew his mom might not be happy with his decision, but she was going to respect it and wouldn't try to fight it. Still, it had been a shock sitting there listening to her and Martha talk about when they were his age. Andy would never be able to look at his mom, or his dad, the same again.  He spent the next few days laughing without any apparent reason when he looked at either of them. His mom would just get a bit red and grin, but his dad was genuinely puzzled. At least for a couple of days he was. After that he would just grin and wink or something. Apparently there were no secrets anymore in this family.

Chapter Two ---- part seven

    He didn't even try to get in quietly. He knew his mom was awake and waiting to hear his voice, even if she wouldn't answer him. He just called out that he was home as he headed to his bedroom. He never even bothered to hit the lights. He was starting to pull his shirt off when the light beside his bed came on. Sandy was sitting up on it. It was easy to see she had been asleep and waiting for him to get home too. Andy just grinned and walked over to sit down beside his sister. This wasn't the first time one of them had waited up for the other one to get home. He didn't say anything. She got first word. They had an understanding about this. If one of them pulled something dumb or one of them wanted to talk they would do this. He knew he had been stupid for not calling, but Sandy might just be ready to talk about the Academy deal too. Andy would let her start it and go from that.

    Sandy just sat there, not actually looking at him for a long time. Then she did look at him and there were tears in her eyes as she spoke. "Are you sure you have to do this? You see the news. It seems like soldiers die every day. I don't want to lose you... not forever." Andy put his arm around her and gave her a hug. After a minute he released her and started to talk. "I have to do this. Yes, I do know soldiers die every day, but that is one of the things that we need to change. Sandy, I can't promise you nothing will happen to me, but I did choose the Air Force not the Army. I have thought a lot about all of this. It is something I want to do. It is something I need to do. I wasn't sure at first, but now I know this is right." Then he grinned at her. "Listen if I get myself killed you have permission to kick my butt. I won't even complain to mom."

   Sandy gave him a viscous shove, but she laughed too. Then she stood up and just looked at him. Shaking her finger at him she replied in her normal sister knows best voice. "You get yourself killed and I swear I will kick your butt. I should just let you hang your butt, but I love you in spite of all you have done to me over the years, so strip." She folded her arms and stood there in her sleep shirt waiting for him to start striping. Andy sat there with his mouth open, staring at her in disbelief. What was she thinking about? Sandy just grinned even more the longer he sat there looking at her. Finally he started to shake his head. It made her break into a huge smile. Then she leaned down and reached out to turn his head slightly as she spoke. "Listen to me, little brother. I could try to hide those bite marks, but Mom will still see them. However, I don't have classes until afternoon on Wednesday and I am willing to do laundry for you. Now strip before Mom gathers your clothes up in the morning. You have some lipstick in places it shouldn't be and frankly a few other things too." In spite of himself Andy looked down and saw that Sandy was right. When he looked back up she had folded her arms again, and was giving him an 'I won' look she loved to use when she outsmarted him.

    Shaking his head he stood up and stripped off his clothes down to his underwear. Gathering them all up he handed them to her and said, "Thanks.” Sandy just smiled again as she shook her head. "I said strip and I meant strip." Andy blushed, but he had already looked to make sure his underwear had no lipstick on them. Shaking his head, he smiled right back at her. "Sorry, but it's not happening. I appreciate you washing those, but these are just fine. Now if you don't mind I would like to get a little sleep, before morning." Sandy just laughed softly. Then she sniffed at him and wrinkled her nose. "Strip or washing these will be a waste of time. You may not be able to tell it, but I can and so could mom. Now strip and we can both get some sleep." Andy began to blush a bright red again. He hadn't even considered that. He started to strip and then looked up at his sister who was still watching him. She just laughed again. "Get over it little brother. How many times have you sneaked off to go skinny dipping with us girls?" Andy straightened up and glared at her for a minute and then he laughed too. Turning around he stripped off the last of his clothes and he put in a final word. "Sorry sis, but it has been a few years. I doubt you would want to strip and go skinny dipping with me now, but you win. Thanks again, even if you have made me feel like a fool. I guess I deserve it tonight. I should have called home at least."

   Sandy took his shorts and blushed just a bit too, as he stood there. Then she turned and headed for the door. She got the final word as she left though. "You did call home, at least I told mom you did. You owe Pam too. She thought to call because she was afraid you wouldn't." Stopping in the doorway, Sandy looked back at him and grinned. "Maybe we need to go skinny dipping again little brother. All of us kids together... just kids together for one last time." Smiling she closed the door behind her. Andy shook his head and then climbed into bed just as he was. He wasn't sure how this would all turn out, but he knew it was definitely nothing like he had expected it to be. He finally drifted off to sleep, but come morning he wasn't sure he had gotten much rest. He was up with the dawn though, rested or not. He had a lot to get done today and the sooner he got started the sooner he could get it done. His mom had commented on the late night. She had surprised him when she reached over to turn his head so she could see the marks on his neck, she just laughed and said something about getting him garlic... for the vampires. Andy didn't bother to tell her he thought garlic was for werewolves. He got the point.

Chapter Two ---- part six

    "Alright, you need to hear this before everybody else does. I am not going to attend any of the colleges we have talked about. In fact I am not going to be doing anything that anyone would have expected me to do. Pastor David was dead on about facing changes. Things are changing Pam, more than I can believe. I may not be able to do anything about all of the changes, but I have to try. I can only see one way to do that, one chance to make a difference that might really matter in the world. I have received an appointment to the Air Force Academy and I am going to go. I wasn't sure if it was right for me until yesterday. I went to talk with Pastor David and I know now. I know it is right. I couldn't let anyone know until I was sure myself. I told my folks last night. I wanted you to know first, but I couldn't hide it from Mom any longer. I will tell the rest of the family this weekend." Then he just sat there watching Pamela, waiting for some kind of reaction. She just sat there looking at him for a long time. Then all she said was, "Wow!"

    It made him laugh. "That is all you can say? Wow, nothing more than that?" He sat there chuckling as she stared at him in disbelief. Pamela finally chuckled too and then reached over to squeeze his shoulder with her hand as she spoke. "I don't really know what else to say. This is nothing I would have expected. I don't really know what to think. I mean... wow! Seeing you as an officer in the Air Force is hard for me to believe. Not that you won't be a great officer, but I just never thought about you being in the military. You are, I don't know, too gentle maybe? I just never thought of you as the soldier type." Andy grinned and shrugged. "I never thought about it before either, but I think it will take a soldier to stop the changes I see happening from destroying our nation. I just know this is where I have to go and what I have to do. I still have no clue as to what I will major in, but I figure that will get sorted out soon enough. I just need to know that you can understand, and won't hate me for doing this."

   She smiled and gave him a long hug. Then she scooted back so she could see his face and spoke. "I could never hate you for doing something you think is right. Actually, I’m very proud of you. I think you need to go. I’ll miss you terribly, but I think this will be easier, knowing that you want to make a difference and had to go try will make it seem more right to me somehow." She smiled before she continued. "Now, unless you want our folks to start wondering what we might be doing, I think you better get me home." Andy glanced at the clock on the dash and groaned. They would normally have been at her home an hour ago. He swung around and started the truck. As he started to pull out Pamela snuggled up next to him and began to nibble on his ear. She giggled like a little girl when he squirmed to get away, but she did stop. He slipped his arm around her and pulled her tight against him again. As they started back towards town she whispered in his ear. "Are we still going to the drive-in this weekend?" Andy grinned and shrugged as he replied. "You tell me."

    Pamela began to giggle again. "Let me see how well I sleep tonight and then I’ll let you know." Andy laughed. "Pam, I just hope I can get to sleep after tonight. Maybe we should double date, just to be safe." Pamela laughed and biting his ear gently, whispered in his ear again. "In your dreams we will double date... big boy!" Andy swerved a bit at where she had placed her hand. Pamela just busted out laughing and snuggled up to kiss him again. He squirmed some more, but only a little. She stopped after just a moment more and then still snuggled against him she let out a long sigh. He didn't dare try to talk. He was too busy trying to keep his mind on the road. It had never been anything like this between them before. Oh they had their fun, but this was, well it was something a lot more intense and personal than 'fun'. Pamela finally spoke again. This time her voice was more normal. "Andy, do you think I am... well you know. I mean I have never done anything like this and I don't want you to think..." Her voice had trailed off.

   Andy slowed down just a little and squeezed her tighter. "No, I think you are... well perfect. Pam you didn't do anything wrong, maybe I did, but it didn't feel wrong to me. Most people think we have been doing a lot more than this for us to have stayed together for so long." He hesitated just a moment before he continued. "I enjoyed tonight. I enjoyed you. I just hope I didn't go too far when I started to..." She moved her head off his shoulder as she placed her fingers on his lips once again. Shaking her head she spoke again. "No. No, it was all perfect. I wanted more, but well, when you hesitated I knew we had to stop. And I am glad we stopped when we did. I just don't want you to think less of me because of all of this, especially not after I told you I didn't love you. I care more for you than anyone else; I think I care for you more than even my folks in some ways. You have always been there and always would be, if I really did need you. I know that. I also know that for right now, we aren't meant to continue. Maybe someday we can, but for now... we both have to go our own way for a while."

   They said nothing else. He drove her home slowly even if they were already running a bit late. He walked her to the door, but when he kissed her goodnight it wasn't like it normally had been. Both of them were short of breath when they separated. Andy walked back to the truck and went for a drive. He needed to get his head clear before he went home, that and make sure he wouldn't turn bright red if anybody asked why he was so late. Nothing was going as he had expected it to go. He had been expecting hurt feelings, maybe yelling, and probably some crying. He had never expected what had happened. Well one thing was certain, he wouldn't soon forget this night. He drove around for a long time. It was well past midnight when he pulled up at the house. He would likely catch some grief in the morning for coming in so late. He should have called, but it had never even crossed his mind until he pulled up to a dark house. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time and probably not the last time that he gotten a lecture. At least he knew he deserved one this time.

Chapter Two ---- part five

Once outside and away from everyone Andy became very aware of the change in Pamela. She was suddenly much quieter and more reserved. Once they were driving away Andy spoke. "Let's go get some ice cream and drive out to the lake. We need to talk and I don't want other people around when we do." Pamela just nodded, but said nothing at all. She didn't even get out for her ice cream, although she did make Andy promise to get her a small sundae not the large he always tried to buy her. Back in the truck they drove out to the lake and parked overlooking the water. They both started eating without saying much. Finally it was Pamela who started the conversation they were both dreading. "Before you say anything I want you to listen to me first. I have been thinking a lot and there are some things we need to get straight." She hadn't looked up at him yet. Andy just nodded and said, "Okay".

   It took Pamela a moment to find the words or maybe it was the courage to start again. "Andy, I know we are going to go our separate ways, at least for a while. I think maybe we need to do that. I have been thinking about nothing except you and me since Sunday. Remember what I said about not being sure if I loved you?" She hesitated until Andy nodded his head. "Well I don't think I love you, not like that." Now she rushed to get words out. "I mean I do love you, but not like I would need to love you to get serious... not yet. You really are a great guy and when I see you working in the field without your shirt on, all hot and sweaty, it does..." The look and grin Andy had given her, stopped her in mid sentence and turned her face a brilliant red. She dropped her head and Andy heard her whisper. "Oh my God, did I just say that out loud?"

   Andy had to struggle to keep from laughing, but there was no way he could hide his grin. He knew he was also a bit red in the face too. Leaning way over her he kissed her cheek softly and then sat back in his seat before he spoke. "Trust me if you knew what I think about when I am swimming with you, you would have beaten me to death." Much to his surprise she looked at him and grinned as she spoke in a soft voice. "I think I know exactly what you were thinking, but I am very glad you didn't know that or I am afraid we might have been in real trouble." She laughed at the shocked look on his face. Then she slid across the seat and snuggled against him. Andy didn't know how to react as she kissed him like she had never kissed him before. When she stopped kissing him, she hid her face against his chest for a minute before she said anything at all. When she did, it wasn't what he had expected to hear at all.

    "Andy, I don't love you. I want to, but I just don't. Please try to understand. I want to be with you. Right now, this minute, I just want to stay here forever, but I know we can't. I can't explain how I feel or why I feel the way I do. I just do. Please tell me that you understand. I never want to hurt you, but I am not in love with you." She became silent then. He could feel her breathing. He could almost imagine he felt her heart pounding, but she made no other sound. He thought about what she had said. He hadn't really given any of this much thought. He had only been focused on his decision and how to tell her. He had never considered being in love with her or her with him. He started to smile as it all began to sort itself out in his head. He had been dating Pam for three years and more than once he had thought about doing a lot more with her than just parking like this. The thing was it had been imaginary to him. He had never actually given it serious consideration. Now he knew why.

   Andy reached down and lifted her face up so that he could look into her eyes. He smiled and kissed her very softly and then let her head rest against his chest again before he spoke. "Pam, I think I understand. I think I feel the same way that you feel. I guess I do love you, in a way." She tensed when he said that. He continued without a pause. "Just not in the way I need to love you, not yet. I am not hurt and I hope I don't ever hurt you. You will always be very special to me, but I don't know if I will ever love you the way you need to be loved." Pamela sat up so that she could see him as he spoke. Andy smiled as he brushed her hair with his fingers. "You make me feel things that no other girl ever has, but it still isn't love that I am feeling. I wish we could stay like this forever too, but we can't. That just isn't the way life works."

   Pamela smiled and then leaned forward to kiss him. This time it was a different kind of kiss. More like the ones they had shared many times, but something was still changed about it. She snuggled close to him again. Andy decided this was as good a chance as he would get. "Pam, about my decision, I..." She jerked back and put her hand over his lips as she shook her head. He looked at her, puzzled by what he saw. Pamela began to speak. As she did, she slowly removed her hand from his lips. "Not now Andy. Please not now. I know you don't love me any more than I love you, but we have something special. Somehow I know is about to end. I don't want it to end, not yet, not like this." Then she leaned in and kissed him almost timidly at first, but soon he felt something in her kiss that he hadn't expected, not now.

   He pushed her back gently and to his surprise she was smiling and blushing. She didn't say anything, but her actions were speaking volumes. She slipped her hand inside his shirt and leaned forward once more. After that Andy lost all track of time. They had never been so intimate before this. Oh there had been plenty of heated nights spent in the back row at the drive-in or parked out like this, but they had never gone too far. This time they came very close. Almost too close for comfort as far as he was concerned. Somehow he had ended up stretched across the seat underneath her, though it had started out with her being pinned under him. Now he just laid there and tried to get his breathing and everything else under control. He couldn't help watching her in the moonlight as she put her bra back on and then tried to get her dress on again. He blushed as he remembered taking them off for her. He had never done that before. As her head slipped out the top of her dress she saw him watching and laughed. She didn't even appear to be blushing now.

   Once she had finished dressing she turned her attention to him. Grinning she spoke for the first time since they had managed to stop before it had gone too far to stop. "Now it is my turn to watch you getting dressed." She burst out in laughter when he glanced down and realized he needed to get his own clothes back on. At least he hadn't been completely out of them. That thought slammed home the realization that she had been. Andy was glad the moon wasn't full tonight, although he would have liked to see her like this under a full moon. He got even more embarrassed when that thought popped into his head. Once he had himself more or less dressed he looked over at her and spoke for the first time. "What just happened?"

    Pamela burst out laughing and hugged him. Then she leaned back and trying not to laugh replied. "If you don't know or ever forget what happened, I will be very hurt. But I think you know what happened." Andy was frowning as he spoke while getting red once more. "You know what I mean." Pamela sobered up and leaned back in the seat looking at him. "Yes, I do know. Andy, we may not be in love, but I wanted this." She grinned at him then. "You are so hot and sexy. If you had any idea of what the girls say behind your back you would never stop blushing. Honestly, if they knew what I know now, I don't think you would be safe alone with any of them." She laughed and shoved him lightly. "And don't tell me you haven't wanted this while we were dating." She shivered slightly. "I am just glad I managed not to go this far before tonight. I am afraid it could have gone a lot further than this very quickly."

    She shook her head as she took his hand in hers while looking at him and she spoke very softly. "Andy, this was our private goodbye. I have wanted to do this since before we ever went out. I don't think I could have stopped you if you had tried to do this, but you never pushed things. Tonight I knew it was now or probably never. You will always be very special to me. I wanted you to be the first to go this far with me. I needed to know if you felt anything about me like I did about you." She smiled. "I think we both know how the other feels now." Andy was starting to get his wits back. He understood now what had happened. They had just shared something that could only be shared between friends who were as close as lovers. He slipped his hand over and gave her a gentle squeeze as he kissed her again. He felt her tense up, but he also felt her returning his kiss and his touch. When he leaned back just a little he was the one smiling and she was the one blushing.

    He spoke to her with his hands still pressed firmly against her body. "You have one heck of a way of saying goodbye. It felt more like hello to me, but I do understand. I am glad we have these memories, even if I won't be able to sleep when I start thinking about them." Pamela laughed and shook her head as she moved away from him. There was amusement in her voice as she spoke to him. "You sir, are awful, but I wouldn't change you if I could. I won't mind missing the sleep, but I am going to hate trying not to let it go this far again. Now enough of this before I change my mind. Do you still want to talk to me? After tonight I think it could wait a day or so if you want." Her words were like a bucket of ice water. Andy took a deep breath and shook his head. He knew he had to do this now. Tomorrow he was going to call and accept his appointment to the Academy. She needed to know first.