Chapter Six - part one

                                                                                      Chapter Six        

 America in Chaos

   The election had finally arrived and things seemed to get better for a time, or at least calmer. James wasn't certain why, but he began to worry even more. There had been no big surprises in the elections. The president's party had been the winners in many key races. Many members of Congress had been changed due to the unhappiness of the people with the state of things in America, not party affiliation. The president's party was now in control of the House and was within two votes of controlling the Senate. The elections had gone much as they had been predicted and expected to go. The people wanted Washington to do something to make things better for the nation. Things had been slowly and steadily getting worse as the election approached, but then that day had come and gone without any major incidents. Since that day things had been a lot quieter, almost too quiet in James opinion. He wasn't alone in his concerns. A lot of people seemed to be almost holding their breath, waiting, and watching for something to happen.

   The winning politicians across the nation and especially in Washington weren't reacting with the same sort of concern though. They were all talking about the great changes that would be made, now that the right political party had enough power in Washington to make those changes possible. There were a few who were worried and did try to voice their concerns, but they were quickly shouted down by the rest. The national media and press were also eager to forget all the noise and trouble that had preceded the elections. That was old news. They were busy predicting and forecasting a brighter future. A future where there would be an end to the problems that had plagued the nation prior to this election. A lot of people weren't buying all of the news stories or the politician's new promises though.  They were the people who weren't insulated from or blind to things like the politicians and even the press seemed to be. They were the people trying daily to deal with the very real problems within the nation; people who were aware of something bad building up. That seemed especially true for most of the people in the military. From the lowest privates to the highest ranking commanders, they were almost all holding their breath waiting for something to happen, probably something totally unexpected and unpleasant. Maybe it was because they were soldiers, and as soldiers familiar with danger that they had developed a keen sense of unseen danger. Whatever the reason might be... the military was on edge.

   Just before the Christmas holidays James was called to a staff meeting with Brigadier General Holt, to go over plans for the coming year. There was still no word about a possible return of the ROCAF to complete the training they had suddenly walked away from. There had been some talk about a Congressional inquiry into the departure of the ROCAF and accusations about the reasons for that departure, but nothing definite had been announced yet. That meant that plans still had to be made; just as if things were to continue as had been planned. James had sensed that something was troubling Holt during most of the staff meeting. Even before the other officers had left he could sense she wanted to talk with him alone. After they were alone and had started talking as friends rather than as officers that feeling of trouble had grown much stronger. Susan Holt and James had grown to be close friends who often shared their personal thoughts and lives with each other now. Susan had paused during their discussion of their holiday plans to study James for a long moment before nodding her head. Now James knew he was about to find out what was really troubling her.

   Susan smiled as she spoke. "James, I want to talk to you about a few things. I will understand if you don't want to discuss some of them, but I would truly like to hear what you have to say. I value your opinion and I trust you to keep what we say to each other between us." James smiled back and nodded as he replied. "Susan, I have come to trust and admire you since I came under your command. We haven't always agreed, but you have always been supportive and fair. Say what you want to say." She had just nodded and then continued. "There aren't a lot of people I trust enough to talk about my thoughts and feelings concerning politics and government. But I need to hear what somebody I do trust thinks and feels about those things right now. You are the only one I trust enough outside of my own family to talk with at the moment. I need to hear an outside opinion from someone who will be open and honest with me. That is one thing I both love and hate about you. You have always been open and honest." James had to laugh. He motioned for her to continue, which she did. "James, what do you think about the current situation in America? I think you know what I am really asking. How do feel about the election and the current state of things? Where are we, as a nation, headed next?"

   James had shifted in his seat at those questions. It was much what he had been expecting. He had already been hearing the same sort of talk among the men and women of 21. He hadn't been asked directly by any of them about his own thoughts, but there was lots of talk going on. James took a moment to gather his thoughts about the state of the nation and the direction it was heading. After that moment he spoke. He didn't look at Susan as he was speaking. She had asked him for his honest thoughts about something very personal to everyone. He didn't want her own reactions to his words to make him change what he was about to say to her, so he kept his eyes down. "I am not sure I can put what I feel into words. I guess the best description would be concern, deep concern. Things don't feel right to me. Something feels very wrong to me. Oh, I know the economy has been a mess for a long time and that people are hurting, but it is more than that. It is like there is something building up, something dark, and dangerous. I can't really give you anything specific. I just feel something building, something very bad, and very wrong."

   James looked up when he was finished to see her reaction. Susan was sitting there with her head lowered, nodding agreement. It was a moment before she looked up and when she did she tried to smile. Her smile was half hearted at best. The tone of her voice was troubled as she spoke. "I don't know if I should feel relieved or disturbed. You just summed up how I feel very well. Something is wrong, very wrong, but I don't know what it is or where it is. I just have this deep uneasy feeling inside. James you know I have never been big on religion, but I have actually been praying for answers. I guess that God of yours doesn't pay much attention to unbelievers, but I was wondering if you had gotten any answers that you could share." James couldn't keep from laughing as he shook his head in disbelief. This was totally unexpected! He saw an immediate reaction to his laughter. Susan had begun to get red and had stiffened up. James quickly held up his hands in surrender and tried to recover the situation.

   "No please! I am not laughing at you... well not at you personally! It was just the way you said all of that! God doesn't work that way Susan!" James moved to kneel down near her, which made her stiffen even more. He smiled and took her hands in his own as he tried to explain his reaction to her words. She was still stiff and a bit red in the face, but she didn't pull away. "Please listen to me before you get mad at me. He isn't just my God. He is your God too! It doesn't matter what you believe or don't believe about that either. Your beliefs can't change God! I promise you, if you have been praying to God then God has heard your prayers. Susan, if you have been praying then somewhere deep inside... you still have that seed of faith that God gave to all of us." James smiled and shook his head again. "Don't worry! I am not going to try to 'save you' or anything like that. I couldn't do that if I tried, because that is something only God can do. I just want you to understand that I wasn't laughing at you. It just seems funny to me, the way people think about God, just like the way I think about God seems funny to them." James released her hands and returned to his seat. "I am sorry if I offended or hurt you when I started to laugh Susan. I really wasn't laughing at you. It was just the way you said things that made me laugh. I wish I had answers to share with you, but I don't. I used to want answers and expected to get all the answers. But I was taught and I learned over the years that it doesn't work like that. My pastor back at home told me that there are times when the only answer we get is silence. He said that meant we had to wait. That is what I am doing now... I am waiting."

   Susan seemed to relax a bit and she began to nod. Then she turned red again and laughed as she spoke. "I don't know why I said those things. I never intended to share that with you!" She laughed again and let out a long sigh. "I think maybe I am glad I did though. Look I don't know how I feel about God at the moment, but I know how I feel about the current situation. Something is definitely building up and we need to find out what and be ready for it. Have you talked to any of your friends about any of this? I mean have you been asking questions about how they think things are going?" James shook his head. He had been dealing with all of his worry alone for the most part. Susan frowned as she nodded. "I thought not. I think the first thing we have to do is get the communications and intelligence systems going. James you have connections inside Washington and around the world, see if they can tell you anything. I will do the same. If we are headed for trouble then we need to know who our friends are and be able to share information with them. If we can't get some light on the situation and see what is going on it may be too late when we do see it. We need more information and we need it fast. I think this may be the calm before the storm and the longer it lasts the more worried I become."

   Now James frowned as he spoke. "You sound like you are preparing for a battle? What are you really thinking and saying?" She hesitated for only an instant before she replied. "I guess that is exactly what I am thinking! I think we are headed for a fight! I can't explain why or how, I just feel it building up to something major. I think you do too. I think we were just afraid to say it. Well, I am saying it now! It is too quiet and too calm! I haven't heard of any major riots since the election and just a few minor protests. Things didn't just suddenly get better, not just because of an election. You and I both know that a lot of people are still struggling to get by. We need to get prepared for real trouble. Maybe I am wrong and it will all just suddenly be back to normal. But I don't believe in miracles." She paused and turned red again before laughing. When she spoke again she was less serious. "Maybe I will learn to believe someday, but for now I just have to trust my gut feelings. Those say we should get ready for real trouble. Talk to everyone that you think you can trust. I will do the same. Try to find out if we are alone or if they see it and feel it too. Maybe by the time the holidays are over we will have a better idea of what is actually going on and who we can depend on when it does go wrong."

   She stood up and they moved towards the door. The meeting had run late into the evening and they were the only ones left. She had even told her exec to go home when the meeting was over. As they both walked out of her office she stopped to lock up. James had waited until she was done with that before he spoke his concerns. "We will have to be careful about who we ask questions of and what we ask. I know that I am often watched closely by those who think Christians are a threat and you may be too, simply from being directly linked to me right now." Susan just laughed. The humor in her voice was a pleasant change when she replied to his warning. "I have always been watched; simply because I am a woman in a man's world. I think we both know the risks involved." She hesitated a moment. "I want to thank you for what you said and apologize for being angry when you laughed at what I said. I have never been around anyone so openly religious before and well I guess I just don't know much about the whole thing."

  James returned her smile as spoke. "I think that is one of the biggest problems Christians face today, not being understood. Actually it isn't Christians or religion that people need to understand though. God is the one that people need to understand before they can deal with Him or those who believe in Him. People can and do refuse to accept God without trying to understand Him first. But if they actually took the time to understand not only that God is, but also who God is... well it gets very hard to refuse Him. I am truly sorry that I laughed when you asked me about God, but the way you said those things just struck me as funny. I hope you have forgiven me and I hope you will take some time to try to understand who God really is too. If you are right about something building up you will want and need God when it does blow up." Susan laughed softly as she shook her head. When she spoke her words were soft too, "You make it sound so easy, like anybody can just talk to God." James smiled even more as he replied. "Anybody can talk to God! It is easy! All you have to do is start talking! I know that sounds too easy, but if you actually try talking to God it can be a lot easier to do than not trying at all. You might be amazed at what you will learn if you just try to have a conversation with the Lord."

   She nodded, but said nothing more to him except goodbye. This was their last meeting before the start of the holidays. Most of the base personnel were getting at least a few days off sometime during the next few weeks. James and most of the pilots in 21 would be off for a couple of weeks. James was heading to Austin, Texas for the holidays this year. That was where, soon to be, Governor Davis was now staying. Sarah and the kids were with him there. James had considered making the trip out to see his folks, but it wasn't so easy to make a trip home anymore. It was harder to get a flight to a major city near them and it was almost impossible to make the trip out to see them if he did get the flight. This time of year finding gas for a car was difficult, even in the major cities. Once you were away from them it was very hard to find and if you did find a station with fuel they might not sell you more than a few gallons, if that. It was just too much trouble to make the trip. He could travel later when the need for heating oil wouldn't be reducing the amount of gasoline available by so much. He also wanted all the time he could get to work on getting in touch with people. The more he had to travel the less time he would have to spend on that. He wanted to spend some time with the kids and Sarah too. He was tired of being away from them so much of the time. They were growing up without him. Holidays were one of the few times he had to be with them and he didn't intend to waste a minute of that very precious time.