That choice didn't
mean they were both leaving the Air Force though. Sarah put in for a transfer
and would see if she could get it before making her final decision. She was
willing to give up flying, but she still wanted to serve in the military if
possible and do what she could to help her nation. James had wanted to do the
same, but Sarah had spent a lot of time trying to convince him that he couldn't
leave the military. She was convinced that James still had work left to do in
the Air Force. She hadn't wanted to admit her feelings or share her thoughts
with him at first, but in the end she had found the courage to speak up. James
would never forget that talk. It happened late one Sunday night. James had been
restless and woke to find Sarah gone from their bed. He had lain there alone
for a long time, thinking about what they had talked about before they had
finally slept. When Sarah still hadn't returned James got up and went to look
for her. He found her on her knees in the living room. He had started to leave
her there, thinking she was praying alone and wouldn't want to be disturbed
when she spoke.
"Don't go
James. We need to talk." Sarah was kneeling in front of the window and the
light from the moon had made it easy to see the tears on her face when she had
turned to speak to him. James had walked over and dropped to his knees beside
her to take her in his arms. They had knelt there like that just holding on to
each other for a long time before she leaned back from him and began to speak
again. "James, I want you to listen to me and please don't say anything
until I am done. You need to listen and really hear what I have to say to you.
Promise me you will really listen to everything I say before you say anything.
Promise me!" James had smiled and gave her a simple nod of his head. Sarah
had taken a deep breath and slowly let it out after he did that. Then she had
nodded too and taking his face in her hands she had begun to talk to him. Her
voice had barely been a whisper, but he would never forget her words or the
look in her eyes as she had spoken those words to him.
"James, I love
you more than I can ever show or tell you. I miss you so much when we are
apart." She hesitated for an instant before continuing. "I don't want
you to go, but I know in my heart that you have to go, even if it means we have
to be apart again. I can't explain it, but I just know that God is in control
of your life. I know that you have to go, I just know it! Please understand
that I don't want you to go. I need you and the kids need you... but I remember
you telling me about how you just knew that God wanted you to go to the
Academy." She stopped and softly ran her fingers along his face and then
kissed him just as softly. She was still smiling, but there were more tears in
her eyes when she spoke again. "I hope you will believe me now when I tell
you that I just know God wants you to go this time too. Oh James, I can't
explain it! I just feel it and know it! I think you do too. We have both been
trying to deny it, because we don't like it. But we both know in our hearts
that you are not done yet... we both know that God still has more work for you
to do. You do know that, don't you?" Sarah had stopped and just looked at
him, silently waiting for his answer.
James did know. In
truth he had known it for a while, but he just didn't know how he could explain
that to Sarah or the kids. He had smiled and kissed her softly before nodding
his head and giving her the only answer he could give her. "Yes, I know it
too." Then he had stood up and gathered her in his arms as he whispered
softly. "God has to come first in our lives, but sometimes I really wish
you could be first." James turned and started to their room with Sarah in
his arms before he said more. "Now that we have decided what we must do; I
think we need to get to bed and get some sleep. We still have to tell the
kids... somehow I think they already know though." Sarah had smiled and
leaned against his chest as he carried her back to their room. They actually
slept soundly the rest of the night. That had been the first restful night's
sleep for either of them in a long time.
The kids did know.
They didn't like it any better than James or Sarah, but they had known that
'Dad' would have to leave them again. They all made the most of the remaining
time they had together. Sarah didn't get the transfer she wanted. She decided
to take her next best choice. She resigned from active duty and went into the
reserves. She took a position in the Texas Air National Guard. She would still
get to fly and maintain her pilot certification, but she would be spending a
great deal of her time in Houston, doing public relations work for the Guard.
Her dad looked to be a sure thing for Governor of Texas, so she would be close
to family too. James and Sarah would still be apart, but at least this time it
would only be a few hundred miles instead of over four thousand separating
them. James still hadn't been told what he would be doing yet. Luke AFB was
primarily used for training of fighter pilots. Maybe they would have him
training new pilots, but whatever his new duty assignment James knew that somehow
it would make a difference. It was still a few weeks before he had to report
for duty. Sarah wouldn't be leaving for her new position until a few weeks
after he left. They spent every moment together that they could manage, knowing
it would soon end yet again.
That day arrived far
too soon. It was hard leaving his family behind again, but there hadn't been
too many tears this time. It shouldn't be too long before he got to see them
again. As hard as it had been to leave his family behind, James was still
excited about starting his new assignment. He was very eager to find out what
God had in store for him this time. James was hoping that maybe he could be a
teacher instead of a warrior this time. He was tired of all the fighting and
killing. James wanted to spend some time away from life and death decisions.
Maybe God was going to give him rest this time. Maybe God would let him spend
some time teaching young men and women how to fly, instead of trying to keep
them alive on the battlefield. That would be a welcome change. James smiled as
he sat back to rest on his flight to Phoenix. It actually made no real
difference to him in the end. He would do his best to do whatever God had
planned for him to do... teacher or warrior made no difference, because in the
end they both could serve God's purpose.
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