Chapter Two---- part four

    Andy went to bed early that night. He had asked everyone to not say anything until at least Friday. That would give him time to tell the people that he needed to tell himself. The first one on that list was Pamela. As he got ready for bed, he considered how he was going to tell her. She knew they were going to end up apart, but she had no idea of just how far apart they would be. Andy wasn't sure how he felt about it himself, not yet. He would miss her, but he had been surprised at how little that had figured into things when he had been trying to sort this mess out. Now that he knew what he had to do, the only issue was how to make it as easy as possible for her. Somehow, in the back of his head, Andy knew that this was to be the end of their relationship, at least the end of it as it had been. His mind was so filled with thoughts of what he needed to do now, and how to do those things that he didn't even manage his nightly prayer before he slipped off to sleep.

    The next morning, his mom had to wake him because he had overslept. Andy had never needed an alarm clock. He was always up with the sun, if not before. This morning he barely had time to get his morning chores done in time to change and catch the bus to school. Most of the seniors drove their cars or trucks to school, but Andy only did on rare occasions. He had thought about it this morning, but he didn't want to drive when he was this distracted. At least he had gotten a decent night's sleep for the first time in days. He also knew how he was going to tell Pamela and when. They had an awards program this evening. He was supposed to pick her up for that. He would tell her after it was over. He would take her out for ice cream and tell her while they were parked over by the lake. He still didn't know how she would react, but at least they could be alone and nobody would bother them. School went much better for him. Most of his classes were done except for the final tests, most of which he didn't even have to take, but there was still other things to do. Today he had actually felt like getting involved and enjoyed it.

    He rode the bus home and hurried to get his chores done. He was going to miss that. He actually loved tending the livestock. It wasn't work to him at all. He got to know each of them; the animals had individual personalities just like people. Some of his friends thought he was nuts when he would talk about the animals, but he didn't care. As a young boy he had also gotten used to the fact that most of the animals were going to end up on a plate somewhere and even that didn't bother him. He was going to miss the time he spent with the animals. They needed him and that made him feel good too. Once the chores were done he got cleaned up and fixed a sandwich. He had to be gone before supper would be done if he was going to pick up Pamela. He should have taken more time to make another sandwich. He had to wait until it was almost too late before Pamela was ready to go. He didn't mind too much though. She was worth waiting around for, even if he was dreading talking to her after the program.

    Pamela wasn't impressed with his truck in her dress and heels. He could have brought the car his oldest sister had given him when she got married, but the truck was his favorite. It had been his grandfather's. Andy had done a lot of work to get it back in good shape and running again. He had rebuilt the truck from the frame up. It was all original, except for the engine and the seats. The engine he had torn apart and rebuilt himself. He had even done his own machine work, thanks to his dad having a buddy with a machine shop. The seats he had made at a custom shop. They still looked like bench seats, but they had extra padding as well as being made more like bucket seats by each door. Once Pamela was inside she was glad he had brought it. There was a lot more room and the truck was a lot cleaner than the car, so her dress wouldn't be wrinkled or dirty when they arrived.

    They didn't say a lot as they went to the program. It was an athletic awards program and dinner. Pam's folks were coming, but Andy hadn't asked his folks. They would have come and been proud to come, but Andy had never been a big fan of any of the award programs. The less that was said about him the better he liked it. The meal was better than the last time, but Andy was still glad he had eaten that sandwich before he came. They never gave you enough to eat at these things. Pamela received several awards; including a full athletic scholarship at the local two year college for track. She and Andy had spent a lot of time training for track together.

    Andy had several awards himself. The big one was in basketball. He had earned recognition at state level in that. He had more awards in track though. Several schools were interested in recruiting him for track, even some of the major schools. Andy was one of only a very few athletes that had the speed of a sprinter along with the endurance of a distance runner. His coach remarked that if Andy had wanted to try he could have easily placed at the state level in high jump or hurdles too, because he easily beat the boys on the team who did those and they had placed at state level. Once the embarrassment of the individual awards was over Andy thought he was done. Instead he was shocked to find that both he and Pamela had been selected as the all around athletes of the year at district level. Pamela received that award with laughter and smiles. Andy just shook his head and frowned as he received his. He was glad when it was finally all finished and they could leave.

    However, before they managed to get away the coach caught them. He had congratulated them both again and then he turned his attention to Andy. "Now that all of this is done, I need to talk to you about your future Andy. I know that you have the academics to guarantee that you will get into a top notch school, but why don't you put all of this physical talent to use? You could become a starter in almost any college that isn't ranked in the top 20 of NCAA basketball. There is nobody that wouldn't jump at the chance to get you on a track team too. You have speed, endurance, and you can out jump a deer. Why won't you use these gifts? You could go anywhere you wanted to go without a thought about the cost if you would use athletics too." Andy had discussed this more than once with the coach. Andy knew the coach was right, but Andy had never been able to explain why it wasn't right for him to try. Andy just felt it wouldn't have been right for him to use his athletics to get a free ride when he could use his academics. There were several guys in school who needed those athletic scholarships to have a chance at college. Tonight he had a better answer. "Coach, I appreciate your concern, but honestly I have made my decision. I don't need an athletic scholarship for where I want to go. In fact I am not sure I would want to add sports to my load. I will explain it all to you in the morning at class, but right now you just need to trust me on it when I say I will definitely be using all my abilities to compete, just not on the court or track." The coach had said nothing. He shook his head while he watched as they slipped out.

Chapter Two---- part three

    Supper was almost on the table by the time they arrived at the house. They got washed up and joined the gals in the kitchen. They helped set the table and then everyone sat down to eat. His father said grace as he did almost every night. The discussion was the normal what was your day like that they had most nights around the table. Andy was a little quieter than normal, but nobody said anything about that. Andy spoke up as his mom was about to go get dessert from the refrigerator. He had to tell them and there wasn't going to be a good time or an easy way to do this. His dad had seemed to be waiting for him to speak up. Like it or not he had this to do, so why not just do it. His mom sat back down as he spoke his first words.

    "Mom, wait a minute on that. I need to talk to all of you." Once she was seated again, Andy took another deep breath and started. "You guys all know I have been trying to decide where to go and what to do after I graduate. Well, I made my decision today." He stopped and looking right at his mom he spoke directly to her. "Please just let me finish talking before you say anything. You need to hear everything before you say anything... okay?" His mom just frowned and nodded. Sandy was watching him very closely now. His dad had leaned forward to rest his arms on the table with his chin on his hands. He knew what was coming, even if Andy hadn't told him, he knew. Andy wished he knew how everyone was going to feel about this. It took him a minute to get his courage up enough to start, but once he did, it all came out fast and complete, more or less anyway.

    "I am not going to be attending any of the schools we’ve talked about. I’m still not certain exactly what I want to have as my major yet, but I do know where I’m going to go. I won't be staying close. I probably won't be home much at all. I’m not sure how all of that will work yet. I just know this is where I must go. I wasn't even sure I could go until a little while ago. I have already done the application paperwork, the physicals, and even the interviews. They have to choose you first, before you can even decide for yourself." He hesitated for just an instant. "I have been accepted at the Air Force Academy, in Colorado Springs, Colorado and I am going to go. Mom, please understand that I have to do this. I wasn't sure of that, not really sure, until today. Pastor David might as well have been preaching just to me yesterday. Today I went to talk with him. I didn't want to involve you guys until I was sure myself. I needed someone to talk with that I could trust and who would keep a secret until I could decide. Now don't blame him for my decision. He didn't push me either way. In fact, all he did was ask questions. But when we were done... I knew I had to go, I just knew it was the right choice."

    Andy took a deep breath and waited. He expected some sort of major reaction, but he got nothing major at all. His mom just nodded. Then she got up and went into the kitchen. Sandy was just sitting there with her mouth hanging open, looking at him like he was something out of a nightmare. His dad turned his head and followed his wife with his eyes. In just a minute she came out with a pie for dessert. She sat it down and started to slice a piece before she spoke a word. "I was afraid it might be something like this, although I will admit I never even thought of one of the Academies. Honestly, I am at least a little relieved that you aren't just enlisting." She smiled as she handed him a slice of the pie and continued cutting more for the rest of them. "I won't lie to you, I don't like this idea. It seems like we are always charging around the world and getting in between other peoples fights. I hear about men killed or wounded every night it seems like. The idea of you becoming a part of all of that scares me."

    She sat down once everyone had been served some pie. Only then did she really look at Andy. Smiling she spoke for the first time in that mother's tone of voice used when she was laying down the law about something. "You just promise me that you will at least write. Margaret says her son almost never writes to her and it is so hard not hearing anything. She would rather hear how awful it is than not hear anything. You promise me that right now James Andrew Cooper or I swear I will bawl my eyes out until you do!" Andy was the one with his mouth open now. Suddenly he heard his dad sputtering and coughing. He was almost choking on the piece of pie he had been eating. Sandy was looking at all of them like they had gone nuts now. Andy just shook his head in disbelief. His mom was looking just at him though, with tears in her eyes, so he managed to get out something. "I promise."

    That seemed to be enough. She dropped her eyes and then let out a long breath and asked her first question. "Why? Why do you think you need to go?" She looked up at him and there were still tears forming. Andy swallowed and tried to think of what to say, of how to explain it. He heard himself saying the words before he even knew what he was doing. "Mom, I just felt like I needed to do something that mattered, something to change things. This was the best way I could see. I wasn't sure of any of this until today, but now I know this is right. Like I said, I have to go." Andy managed to cut his words off before it came pouring out that he knew it was where the Lord wanted him to be. He wasn't sure how they would react to that. He wasn't even sure how he felt about that yet.

    The next hour was spent just talking with his parents around the table. Sandy listened, but she was noticeably silent. There were lots of questions. A few frowns and even a fair bit of laughter. Andy had expected it to be a lot worse than it had been so far. Sandy had finally pushed her chair back and stood up about halfway into that hour. She gathered the plates and then stood looking at Andy for a minute before she said a word. When she did speak, her voice was much calmer than he had expected. "I will do the dishes and then I am going out for a while. I just need to think before I say anything. Andy, you never fail to surprise me. Just when I think I know you, I find out I don't know you at all." She shook her head and walked into the kitchen before he could say anything. His dad quickly asked him another question and before he knew it he heard the kitchen door close as Sandy went out.

Chapter Two---- part two

    Andy went inside when he got home and quickly changed into work clothes. He had chores to do, livestock to check and feed. Then it would be time to jog across the farm to help his mom shut down the produce stand. They did more business this time of year than most people would have believed. The greenhouse was full of starter plants, but they also had fresh stuff for sell when nobody else did too. It was another half mile or so to the stand which was just off the main road that divided their farm. He enjoyed jogging across the farm. He tried to take a slightly different route each day. He would just leap over the cross fences as he ran. As he trotted up he saw his mom had already closed up. She was talking to his youngest sister. She was still in the local college, but she normally didn't get home this early. He wondered what was up with her being here. It wasn't long before he found out when he stopped beside the car.

    She was looking right at him and she never gave him a chance to say anything. "So did you go talk to Pastor David today?" Andy's mouth fell open and she just started to laugh at him. His mom was grinning as she shook her head and scolded her daughter. "Sandy, you are just awful. Your brother doesn't need you adding to his worries. I don't remember him being this mean to you when you were trying to decide what to do with your life, shame on you!" His sister managed to stop laughing long enough to reply. "Then you don't have a very good memory. He was awful! He kept pushing me to go away... far, far away, were the exact words he used, I think." Now Andy began to turn red. He had teased her pretty hard, but it had been in fun... just like what she was doing to him now.

   He quickly walked around the car and climbed in beside Sandy before she knew what was going on. Then grinning at his mom he spoke. "I think I want to ride home with sis today. I haven't had time to ask her anything at all about Paul...or Larry either." That spun his sister around to face him with her best, 'don't mess with me buster,' glare on her face. His mom just tossed up her hands and headed for the truck. She wanted no part of this spat. Andy gave his sister his best 'I dare you' look until she turned away and started the car. She pulled out in front of her mom so she wouldn't get caught in the dust when they turned down the driveway at home. Once she was safely on the road she shot him another hard look and then started to laugh again. Andy frowned and looked at her which only made her laugh more. Finally, he spoke if for no reason except to stop the laughter.

    "Just what is so funny now?" She shook her head and shrugged, but she did stop laughing. As they turned down the driveway she slowed her car and spoke again. "Nothing really, I guess. I am going to miss you, at least a little. And just so you know, I haven't see either Larry or Paul in a couple of weeks now, not that it is any of your business." That made Andy smile. He already knew that. The only real question in his mind was if and when she would give in and call Steve. Sandy was in love with him and she knew it, even if she would never admit it. Everybody knew it, except for maybe Steve. He had been miserable when she decided to stay and go to school near home. Steve was attending the college he had expected her to choose. It was too far for him to come home often, so they hadn't seen much of each other since his sister had graduated from high school. Steve was a good guy and would make Sandy a fine husband. He just wasn't very exciting. Steve worked hard at anything he did, but he was always focused on doing his best, not on having fun. Andy grinned as he thought about working with Steve. Steve loved to work on a farm as much as Andy did. He spent more time out on his grandfather's place than he did at his parent's home in town. He was a farmer at heart. Sandy loved him for all of the things he was, but she wanted to have some excitement in her life too. That was something Steve just didn't seem to understand.

    Sandy broke his train of thought with her next comment. "So... you haven't decided yet? I can tell you haven't yet, everyone can tell that you are really struggling with this decision." She glanced over at him and smiled a genuine smile. "If I could help I would, but I know this has to be your decision. Still, if you just need to scream at someone... I am used to you doing that, so have at it." That made them both laugh. He was closer to Sandy than any of his other sisters. Maybe it was partly because they were so close to the same age. She was only a little more than two years older than him. Andy didn't think that was all of it though. They had a connection that he had never had with the other girls. The truth was she had always been his best friend too. They could and often did talk about stuff that they would never tell anybody else. When the laughter stopped he smiled a genuine smile back at her. "I know that sis and thanks." The remainder of the short drive was silent. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts.

    Once home, they both headed in different directions. Sandy headed inside to help his mom fix supper. Andy headed out to see if he could help his dad with anything. It took Andy a while to find his dad. His truck was parked by the shop, but he wasn't in the shop like he normally would have been when not out on the farm. Andy soon found him out back of one of the other sheds. He was hunting for some steel he had tossed in the scrap pile. He had a use for one of those odd pieces he had thrown out. They talked about how it never failed that if you threw something away you would need it in no time. They finally found the piece and dropped it off at the shop. By then it was almost time for supper, so they headed to the house. Andy was glad that his dad hadn't asked about things. Andy knew he had to tell them about his decision, he just didn't know how he was going to do it yet.

Chapter Two ---- part one

      I hope you enjoyed chapter one. I have broken each chapter up and if you want to follow the story it will run for a  couple of months. Chapter two will run ten days. If you are interested in reading at a faster rate then let me know in the comments. Feel free to make comments good or bad, I am doing this to find out what people think of the book. Some people have said I am too detailed, but it is hard to tell a story about people if you don't tell enough to make the people real.

                    Chapter Two

              Announcements

    Andy walked out of the office and across the parking lot to the street in front of the church.  He sat down on the curb and let out a long sigh. He hadn't expected to get an answer to his question. He had just been hoping for a little advice and maybe some encouragement. Laughing, he rested his forehead in his hands with his elbows on his knees. Wow, that had been anything but what he had hoped for and yet it was far more than he could ever have dreamed of getting. He had poured his heart out in front of Pastor David. He hadn't hidden anything from him. Oh there were other things he could have said, but nothing that really mattered. Then Pastor David had pretty much done what he had expected him to do. He had asked questions and tried to steer Andy towards finding his own answers without pushing him in any one direction. Andy had talked to him about other things before and had known about what to expect from the man.

    He hadn't expected the rest though. When Pastor David asked him to pray, everything had changed. Andy had felt the need to get on his knees and bow down humbly before the Lord as fast as he possibly could. It was like the Lord was standing right there, right in front of them. He had never felt anything exactly like that before. Not even when he had accepted Christ in front of the church. That had been a big thing for him, but nothing like this. This had felt like he was in the very presence of the Lord. There were still goose bumps all over his body. What had just happened in there? Had God been there or was Andy just letting this get to him? He rejected that idea as soon as he had it. God had been there. Right there with them, in that room. Andy knew it. Andy had felt it and he had heard the Lord too.

    No, it hadn't been a real voice, not the way people would think of it. But it had been the Lord's voice just the same. Andy knew in his heart that he had heard His voice. He had heard that voice say just one word. One word was all he needed to hear though. "Go." That was all he had heard, but the doubt and the fear were gone. They had been replaced by shame for having hesitated, for having doubts. He was still deeply concerned, but not about his decision. Now he was just worried about those it would affect. Andy had prayed from his heart before, but that prayer... the one he had prayed today had been from his very soul. He knew God had heard that pray and would answer it. That didn't do anything to take away all of the butterflies though. Andy had thought being uncertain had been hard. Now he knew he had to go and if anything had changed, things had just gotten harder in many ways. Now he had to tell everybody about his decision... and then he still had to go!

    He didn't have time to think any further about it though. The sound of a car pulling up brought his head up as well. His ride had arrived. Andy couldn't believe he had spent almost an hour talking with Pastor David; but he must have, because his ride was here. Andy stood up and climbed into the car. He said a silent prayer that Mrs. Baker wouldn't start asking questions as he did. She smiled and gave him her normal greeting, but didn't say much more, at least not until they were almost out of town. Then she surprised him with what she did say. "Andy, I hope you know that no matter what you decide your family will support you, and love you no matter what." She glanced at him with a slight smile on her face and then sat there silent the rest of the way home.

    As Andy started to get out he turned around and leaned into the car. He smiled at Mrs. Baker and then spoke to her. "Thanks for the ride and what you said too. I do know that Mrs. Baker. That doesn't make things any easier though, but you know that already." He started to close the door, but she spoke first. "Andy, I do know how hard these decisions can be. I also know that you will be fine and so will everyone else. I knew that when you asked me to pick you up at the church. I wish I had been wise enough to seek the Lord when I was your age, but I thought I could handle it alone." She smiled at him again. "You aren't alone, Andy. Even if you hadn't gone to Him, the Lord would have been with you. I know you will be blessed now, because you did go to Him. Always go with God Andy and you will never go wrong." He just smiled and nodded as he closed the door. He watched her drive on down the road thinking about what she had just said. It was about a half mile to the house from the main road. He turned and started to jog down the road. He pushed all of the stuff in his head aside. He just jogged along in silence trying not to think about anything for just a little while.

Chapter One ---- part five

    Andy didn't manage to decide much that night. He finally did get to sleep and he almost overslept the next morning, but he still had no idea of what he needed to do. Monday was a school day and that kept him occupied all day. Even though he was pretty much finished with everything, there was still stuff going on that kept his attention. He normally hung around in town on Monday night after he was done with tutoring until their neighbor got off work at six. She gave him a ride home to save his folks a trip in. Today he had a new use for his free time. He had decided to talk to Pastor David. He could trust him to keep a secret and he knew he wouldn't try to force his own opinions on him either. It was a short walk over to the church office from school and Pastor David lived just down the street if he was already gone home. After tutoring was finished he stopped on his way to church to ask his neighbor to pick him up at the church this time. That would give him almost an hour to talk with Pastor David.

    Pastor David was just about to lock up when Andy arrived. As he walked up to the church office, Andy was almost sorry he had decided to do this, but he had to talk to someone about things. His dad had made it clear that he wasn't going to offer advice unless he was asked to give it. Andy knew he could have asked him, but that wouldn't have felt right. It wouldn't have been fair to his dad or his mom either. This was his decision to make.  Pamela had also made it clear that she had her own decisions to make. Andy couldn't think of anyone else who he respected and trusted enough to talk with about this, except for Pastor David. Right or wrong, this was his last chance to talk to anyone. They had to have his answer before Friday. Anyway, it was too late now. Pastor David was smiling at him as he opened the door wide for Andy to come inside.

    Andy stepped inside with only a nod. Pastor David was still smiling as he stepped over to his desk. His voice was that deep fatherly one Andy knew so well from all of the times they had talked during youth activities at the pastor's home over the years. "Well I was wondering if I would see you today. You looked very troubled when you left church. It wasn't my intention to cause any of you discomfort, but from the looks I saw among the youth I seem to have done just that. Please sit down Andy and tell me what is troubling you. I am sure that together, with the Lord's help, we can find an answer." Andy did sit down, but he wasn't sure how to start this conversation. He sat there in silence, not even able to look at Pastor David. 

    Pastor David waited for a long time before he whistled softly and spoke. "If I didn't know you so well I would be terrified by your silence, Andy. This must be something really big. I was expecting maybe one of the normal issues, which school, what career, or the big one for most young men... the girlfriend you are leaving behind." That actually made Andy smile a bit. If only it was just Pam. Pastor David shook his head as he continued. "Andy, I may be a pastor, but I can't read minds. You will have to say something or I am as lost as you already appear to be."

    That made Andy start to laugh softly. He looked up and smiled as he took a deep breath. Then he did speak. Andy poured it all out in one long stream. "It is all of those things and none of those things. I am lost, totally and completely lost. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I can't talk to anyone, but I have to talk to someone. I have to decide and I have to do it fast. I have tried, but I just don't know. Nothing I do will be right. If I do what I thought I wanted, it will hurt a lot of people. If I don't do it then I..." He paused for just an instant. "Oh, I don't know what it will mean if I don't. How am I supposed to make a decision that will surely change my entire life, if I don't even know what I want from my life? I have already found out things about myself and about my life that I never knew or even thought about. Everything is just a jumble in my head. I thought it would be so easy. If I could do it I would and if not I would just do what everyone expected me to do. Now I can do what I thought I should do, but I don't know if I actually should or not. I have made a mess out of everything and I haven't even made a decision yet. What should I do?"

    Pastor David had leaned back in his chair. The smile had vanished from his face. He looked very serious and deeply troubled. This time Andy didn't look away. He looked directly at his pastor waiting for him to provide an answer, never realizing that Pastor David still had no idea of what the problem was. After a moment Pastor David leaned forward. He spoke very softly, but seriously now. "Andy what is it you have to decide? What has you so upset and so terrified that you think you might make the wrong choice? You have to tell me what is wrong before I can even try to help you. Please trust me. Trust your Lord. Together, I know we can find the right answer, the best answer. Just trust us and tell me what it is that has become such a heavy burden on you."

    Now Andy leaned back and just looked at Pastor David for a long moment. Then he reached inside his book pack and pulled out an envelope. He laid it on the desk and just sat there waiting. Pastor David picked up the envelope and took out the letter. He raised his eyebrows as he read. When he had finished he laid the letter down and looked up at Andy. It was a while before Pastor David spoke. "I must say that I never even considered anything like this. I will confess I was terrified that you were going to show me something much different when you pulled that letter out. I was thinking all sorts of things, but nothing like this." Then he stood up shaking his head and grinning as he walked around his desk. Andy rose to meet him, uncertain of what to expect. Pastor David held out his hand as he spoke. "Congratulations! No matter what you decide, it is a great honor to be accepted at one of the Academies. You should be very proud of that alone; no matter what you decide to do." The hand shake suddenly became a hug. "I am very proud of you Andy. I know your folks must be too." Then he stepped back still holding Andy by the shoulders. "Okay, now maybe we can work this all out. Let's sit down and really talk this thing over. You definitely have a huge decision to make; as it will surely change your life regardless of what you decide to do." Releasing Andy, he pulled a chair around so he could sit right in front of Andy with no desk separating them as he returned the letter to Andy. They both took a seat and Pastor David started the conversation again. "So, first things first, why did you apply to the Academy?"

    Andy leaned back and taking a deep breath spoke for the first time with a strong, solid voice. "I just feel like I need to do something with meaning for my country. You talked about the changes in our lives; well I see changes in the world and especially in my own country that are troubling to me. I want to do something. I want to stop some of the things I see going on. I thought about a lot of possibilities, but honestly I think we are heading towards real trouble and soon. I think we will need leaders who will act according to God's law first and man's law second. I think our military will be at the front of the changes that are coming. There are just too many things that are happening that don't seem right to me. I don't know how to explain it really. I just think I need to go. I think I need to serve." Pastor David had listened closely and nodded several times as Andy spoke. When he was certain Andy had finished he said just one word, "But?"

    Andy took a deep breath and leaned forward before he answered that one word question. "But everyone expects me to become something else. I have never mentioned any of this to anyone. Dad knows, but not because I wanted him to know. They all know I have been accepted at the schools they expected me to attend. They just think I am trying to decide on which career I want. They have no idea that I am considering leaving all of that behind to go where nobody in my family has ever been before. This will be all new and it will be very upsetting to a lot of them. If I do this, I am going to change not only my life, but I am going to be changing the lives of everyone around me. Nothing will ever be the same again for any of us. I just don't know if I have the right to do that. If it was just me, it would be easier to decide, but it's not just me."

    Pastor David chuckled when Andy was finished. Shaking his head he smiled at the look on Andy's face when he had chuckled before he spoke. "I don't think it is funny. I am just amused that you seem to have such a firm handle on both why and why not and yet still have no idea of the answer you should choose. Andy, I always knew you had a good head on your shoulders and a good heart, a big heart. I think there is more to you than even I realized though. You said you felt a need to do something. Can you explain that? What kind of feeling was it? Was it something inside you or was it something from outside? I think that is important. I think before we go any further we need to figure out what that need you feel is and where it is coming from."

    Now Andy leaned back and shook his head. "I don't know exactly. I understand what you are asking me, but I don't know how to answer you. At first it was just a feeling that I should do something. I didn't and still don't know what, just something, something that would make a difference. I thought about a lot of stuff, but I always came back to needing to lead, to be in charge of things. Then one day I was just sitting around with some friends and Tony told us he was going to enlist when he graduated. When we all asked him why, he said to do something that mattered. We all joked about him wanting to be a hero, so he could get the girl or save the world, but what he said made me start thinking. Actually, I guess it was the way he said it. I knew he meant it. He actually wanted to make a difference. I do too. I thought of enlisting, but honestly they have to follow more than lead. You can make a difference even then, but not like a leader could. And before you ask, I considered all the academies, but I wanted the Air Force. The Navy doesn't seem to be in the front, they are involved, but not as directly. Besides I prefer staying in sight of land, if not on it. The Army is right in the front, but they just seem to deal with what has already happened most of the time. To me it seemed like the Air Force is the place that might actually change things. That seemed to be the right choice, so I applied there. I never really thought I would be accepted. Why would they want me? I’m not a star athlete or a leader. I may be a good student, but I’m nothing that special. I guess I just never expected them to accept me, but they have... and now I just don't know what to do."

    Smiling Pastor David nodded his head slowly. "Andy, don't sell your ability or potential short. You have taken all the toughest courses and passed them easily. If anyone looks at your record they will know you can do anything you decide to do mentally. As for being a star athlete, you and I both know you do more than your stats show. You are one of the most talented basketball players I have seen. The reason you weren't the star is because you set up everybody else. You couldn't do that if you weren't both a star and a leader. They had to double cover you, so you were always feeding the open man. I think you are more and know more than you think you do. Andy, you said you felt a need to do something that mattered. To whom does it matter? Does it matter to you or is it more than that. Who will it really matter to the most?"

    Now Andy was quiet. He sat there with a frown on his face thinking. Finally, he began to speak without ever looking up at Pastor David. "It matters to me, but it is more than just that. It matters... well to the world. If I don't do anything then I am as responsible for what changes as if I changed it myself." He looked up and still frowning continued. "Honestly, I guess I think it matters to God too. Pastor David, I want to serve my Lord, but I am no preacher. No offense!" Pastor David laughed out loud and reached over to slap Andy's leg. "None taken young man, though I think you could be a great preacher if you wanted to be." Andy grinned and just shook his head as he turned red.

   Pastor David surprised him by getting up and moving to take his seat behind his desk again. Still smiling he spoke to Andy once again. This time his voice was filled with certainty. "I think you have answered all of my questions. In fact, I believe you have answered your own questions, even if you don't know it yet." He paused for a moment and then leaning forward he spoke very seriously to Andy. "What happens in this world does matter to you. It also matters to God. I see the world changing around us too and frankly I don't like what I see. I fully understand your concern. I do what I can to prevent the changes I see as bad and try to change things that need to be made better too. I do that behind the pulpit every Sunday and as I live every day, but sometimes I don't think even that is enough. This nation needs something to turn things around and it needs it soon or I fear it might be too late. What it needs is God. I think God wants to help us. In fact I know God does help us as much as we will allow. Andy, I can't tell you what you should do. God alone knows that answer and, unfortunately, God usually leaves it to us to make the final decision. I can tell you this though. I don't think you are as alone as you feel. God does want to help us. He wants to help you too. Let's ask Him for that help now."

   Andy nodded and this time it was Pastor David who was surprised. Andy dropped to his knees on the floor. His head bowed low and eyes closed he knelt there waiting for his pastor to begin. Pastor David moved back around the desk and knelt down in front of Andy. He placed his hand on Andy's shoulder and began to pray. "Father, we come to you for answers. We see things at work in our world that we know are not according to your will.  Father, I was there when this young man committed his life unto you. I have watched him grow from that young boy into a fine young man. You have blessed him with a sharp mind, a strong body, and a kind heart. I have seen you fill him with your Holy Spirit and grow his faith far beyond what it was when he committed his life to you. Now Father, I ask you to show him the way that you would have him go. Father, if you have called him to serve, then I ask for you to make it clear to him. Remove his doubts and fears. Fill him with certainty and confidence, so that he may serve you with the strength and power that you alone can provide to him. We come before you in humble devotion. I ask these things of you in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus."

    Andy was silent for a moment and then he began to pray in almost a whisper. "Thank you, Father. I am not worthy of the blessings you have given me. I am weak and afraid, but you give me strength and courage. Father, I have felt lost and alone, but you have shown me I am not alone.  I ask for your forgiveness. I had forgotten that you will never leave me; never forsake me. I am sorry that I have tried to deny your call and that I have tried to refuse your plan for me. Give me strength Father, so that I may do what I now know I must do. Help me to find the way to tell others and to ease the pain I will cause some of them. I trust you Father. I will go. I will serve. Use me however you would, for your glory. In the name of my Lord, Jesus, I pray. Amen."

    There were tears in both men's eyes when they stood up together. Pastor David squeezed Andy's shoulder and softly spoke a final word to him. "Go with God son." Andy gave a single short nod before turning and walking out the door. Pastor David sat down heavily in the chair closest to him. He let out a very long breath and shook his head. He hadn't expected that to happen, nothing like that. He shivered and shook himself to try and remove the chill that was running over his body. He knew that something big had just happened in his office. He knew that something big had just happened in this young man's life. Maybe something big had just happened in this world too.  Pastor David had felt something happening that was bigger than he could explain, but even if he didn't understand exactly what it was he still knew in his heart that something very important had just happened here today. Somehow he knew that today... the future had just changed for more than James Andrew Cooper alone.

Chapter One----part four

   Andy wasn't even sure what was said after that. They had closed in prayer and joined hands to sing a short song together before they were dismissed. Pastor David was standing by the door to shake hands as they all left as usual. Andy didn't even remember if they had done the normal song or call for anyone in need to come to the front of the church. His mind was locked on that message. Those last few verses and that prayer from the Bible were running over and over, again and again, in his mind. If anyone had tried to speak to him while they walked out, Andy hadn't been aware of it. As he came close to the door, and to Pastor David, something did start to register. It was the silence that he heard. Normally the church was filled with chatter and laughter after services were over. Today the church was almost silent. Only a few softly spoken words were exchanged with Pastor David as the members filed out the door.

   He and Pamela were walking together, holding hands as usual, even though he wasn't actually even aware of that. His father, Joshua, was speaking to the pastor when the words that so many had already said finally slammed home to Andy. Joshua had been thanking Pastor David for a fine sermon and commented on the wonderful choices of scripture. The reply from Pastor David was what hit home for Andy and made him really hear what so many had been saying about God's word. Pastor David had laughed and shook his head as he spoke to Joshua. "Don't thank me for the message today. This was the first time I have ever done a sermon that I can honestly say I had no clue as to what I was going to say or do. Thank the Lord. He was the one speaking today. I am certain of it." It had taken a moment for even those few words to work inside and register among all the jumbled thoughts running through Andy's mind as he walked with Pamela. Many people had commented about God's word, but Pastor David had made it clear when he had replied to Joshua that it had indeed been God who was giving him the words to speak, the words that Andy had heard so clearly today.

     As Pam had approached Pastor David she suddenly released Andy's hand and stepped forward to hug Pastor David. Andy couldn't hear what she whispered to Pastor David, but he could easily see the tears in her eyes again as she stepped back. Andy simply offered his hand to Pastor David and looked into his eyes as they shook hands. The pastor returned the look with a solemn nod, but spoke no words either. Then they were walking down the walk outside the church. His parents were waiting at the end of the walkway. Pamela's folks didn't come to church, at least not very often. She had started coming when she and James had started to be interested in each other. She had been a regular for the last three years. His parents often dropped her off on their way home, so she didn't have to ride on the church bus. Andy saw his father watching him more closely than usual. Andy was about to tell his folks he wanted to walk Pam home today when she spoke up herself.

    "Mr. Cooper, would it be alright if Andy and I just walked home together? I need to talk with someone about the message I heard today. It seemed like Pastor David was talking to me. I just need to talk with Andy and sort my thoughts out. I would really appreciate it, if you don't mind." Andy knew he was staring at Pam, but he couldn't help himself. He heard his father's answer, but he wasn't really aware of what his father said until they had started to walk to the car. His father had said, "That would be fine Pamela. I think a lot of people were shaken by the message today. You two do need to talk and sort things out. I think Andy needs to walk, talk, and think too. It is a beautiful day and I think a walk would be a good thing for both of you. Just remember that we are always available if you need to talk with someone." Andy watched his parents walking away and then turned to start walking with Pam down the street towards her home. It was a long walk to her house, but somehow that seemed like a good thing to him today.

   They were well away from the church before Pamela spoke. She had leaned against his shoulder, but she wouldn't look at him as they walked slowly along. "Andy did you think he was talking to you too?" Andy knew she was talking about Pastor David. He couldn't find his voice to answer her, but he did manage to nod and she felt the movement against her hair.  They walked a little further before he did speak. "Pam you wanted to know what was wrong. Well I..." She raised her head as she stopped walking and placed her fingers over his lips. She was looking into his eyes for the first time since church services had started. He just stood there looking at her for a moment. Then he removed her hand from his lips and gently kissed the back of it. She gave him a small smile and then slid an arm around his waist and started to walk once more. After only a few hesitant steps she began to talk to him.

   "Let me talk first Andy. I don't know what is wrong for you, but I know what is wrong for me now. Pastor David helped me understand. I am scared. I have been so excited about graduation and starting college, but I have been terrified too. Andy, I really do care for you..." Her voice trailed off for a moment and then she took a deep breath before she finished. "I just don't know if I love you. I mean, oh I don't know what I mean. I want to be with you, but I know you are going away to college. I am just going over to the local community college, at least to start. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I never have talked about it with you. I haven't really talked about it all. Pastor David was right today. We do have to make choices soon. Choices that will determine what kind of life we will have. Andy, I don't know what I want. I just know I need to decide and that I... need time." Her voice had trailed off at the end. She didn't look up at him at all. They walked along in each other's arms for a long time before she whispered a plea to him. "Say something Andy, please just say something."

    Andy wasn't sure what he could or should say to her, but he knew he had to say something. There was a bench on the side of the street where people could sit and rest. He guided her over to it and they sat down. Then he took both her hands in his as he took a deep breath before he spoke. "Pam, I don't know what to say or what to think. I am scared too. I have never really even thought about being in love with you, not real love like... well you know." Pam just nodded as she looked into his eyes. He shrugged and looked away, unable to hold her gaze with his own. He tried to find the words he needed to say, but once again he didn't get the chance. She reached up and ran her fingers in his hair as she spoke.

    "It's okay Andy. I do know what you mean. I like you a lot and really enjoy being with you, but I have never thought about loving you either. Your fun and well... you're safe. Other girls tell me about their dates and what they do. I am really not ready for that. That is what I like so much about dating you. It is just fun; with no complications. I have never even thought about any of this before. It was just us, enjoying fun times together, and that was enough." Andy had raised his eyes to look into hers as she spoke. She was smiling and almost seemed to be back to normal. He felt like a weight was gone from his heart too, but there was more he needed to say. Nodding his head in understanding he began.

   "Now that we both have that straight, I need to tell you what has been bothering me." She shook her head and stood up. Holding her hand out to him she spoke again, still smiling. "I don't want to know, at least not now, not today. If you need to talk about it then I will talk with you later, but today I just want us to walk and spend time together as friends... best friends. Please just walk with me and we can talk about anything else or nothing at all. Today isn't the day for sharing problems. Today is a day for sharing friendship and maybe even a little love." She blushed as red as he had ever seen her get as she stood there waiting for him to take her hand. Smiling he took her hand and let her pull him up. Then he pulled her close and kissed her softly. She got even redder as he stepped back, still holding her hand and began to walk with her once more.  They spent the next couple of hours just walking together before they even realized they were getting hungry.

    Once back at her house she changed and then made them some sandwiches. Her folks had left a note for her. They had gone to spend the afternoon with some friends at the river.  After the late lunch Andy had called home to tell his folks he needed a ride today, normally her folks would drive him home after they ate lunch together. Pam seemed much more at ease after they had talked, but they both were still aware of something different between them. Neither of them was certain of what was yet to come, but they were both thinking about things in a new way. Andy still didn't know how he could tell anyone about what was bothering him until he had made his decision. He was confused enough without having everybody he knew sharing their opinions with him. He had to talk to Pam about it, but first he had to decide what he was going to do. Then at least he might know what he needed to say, if not how to say it. Right now the only thing he knew for certain was that he had a decision to make. He was still trying to figure it all out on the ride home with his dad.

Chapter One----part three

   Andy couldn't believe what he was hearing. Pastor David couldn't possibly know about what was going on in James Andrew Cooper's life. Yet, to Andy, it felt like Pastor David was talking directly to him. It was like he was looking right into Andy's eyes when he looked at the youth section. Andy glanced at some of the others in the youth section, Pam in particular. They all seemed to be focused on Pastor David. They all seemed to be sitting there in stunned disbelief. It was only a few seconds before Pastor David began speaking again, but it seemed like it was an eternity to Andy. All sorts of thoughts flashed across his mind. The one thought that kept repeating was a question that he couldn't possibly answer. Was Pastor David preaching a message meant to answer Andy's questions? Was God using this sermon to speak to directly to him?

    Pastor David continued in his normal sermon voice now. "I am talking about change today because I now see that we must learn how to deal with the changes in our lives. We must learn how to face them directly instead of just avoiding or ignoring them. They aren't going away. Change is indeed a part of our daily lives, but unless we learn how to face up to and deal with the changes in our lives they can bury us under a burden we can't possibly carry." He pointed towards the youth section again, but he kept his eyes on the rest of the congregation. "These young people are not the only ones that must face change. Every day something changes for each of us. Most of the time the changes are small and don't really seem to matter that much. They do add up though. Day by day, the changes add up. Each little change adding to the last, and the next, until before we know it, our lives have been totally changed."

    "This nation was founded by people seeking a place to worship the Lord in freedom. The very laws that we live by were crafted by men who knew the importance of that freedom... and that worship." Pastor David pointed to the flag. "Stand with me as I recite the Pledge of Allegiance." Then he turned to face the flag, placing his hand on his heart he began. "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty, and justice for all." When the pledge was finished he stepped back to the pulpit and motioned for everyone to be seated again. He looked out over the crowd for a moment before he spoke again.  "We just said the pledge as it was meant to be recited. They still say the pledge in some public schools today, but it isn't the one we just said. They leave out two words. They leave out 'under God'. That has come to be almost unnoticed by many people, maybe even most people today. It is only a small change, an almost unnoticeable change. Is it important? Does it really matter? After all, we are still pledging allegiance to the same nation, we are still a Republic and indivisible. Nothing has really changed has it?"

   Pastor David paused and looked around at the entire congregation again. He shook his head as he started to speak again. "It is just a small change, a small change that has altered the entire meaning behind that pledge. I hope, I pray, that each of you sitting here today will think about the meaning of that small change. As you think about that one small change maybe you will begin to think about all the other small changes that are going on in your lives every day. Are they actually small changes or are they also altering the very meaning, the true purpose, of your life? I want each of you to think about that small change in the pledge today. We are still one nation, but if we are no longer under God are we still a nation indivisible? Do we have still have liberty? Is there still justice for all?"

   Once more Pastor David paused for a long moment as he opened his Bible. As he was turning the pages of his Bible, Andy glanced over at Pam again. She had lowered her head and closed her eyes, but she was clearly not resting. There were tears on her cheeks and he could see her lips moving ever so slightly. She was clearly praying a silent prayer and was very troubled by something. Lowering his own head and briefly closing his eyes Andy prayed a short silent prayer of his own. "Father, help us to truly understand this message. I know in my heart that you are speaking to me and to others as well. Help us to hear your voice, to understand the meaning of your words. Please grant those who need you so desperately the understanding they must have. In Jesus name I pray." As he opened his eyes and looked up he saw Pastor David raise his head from the Bible.

    Pastor David took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he began to read from the Bible starting with the chapter and verse. "Jeremiah 7 verses 5-7, If you really change your ways and your actions and deal with each other justly, if you do not oppress the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow and do not shed innocent blood in this place and if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, then I will let you live in this place, in the land I gave your ancestors forever and ever." He turned a few pages in his Bible and began to read once more. "Jeremiah 13 verses 16-17, Give glory to the Lord your God before he brings the darkness, before your feet stumble on the darkening hills. You hope for light, but he will turn it to utter darkness and change it to deep gloom. If you do not listen, I will weep in secret because of your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly, overflowing with tears, because the Lord's flock will be taken captive." Again he paused to turn pages in the Bible before he began to read once more. "James 4 verse 8, Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts you double minded."

    Pastor David closed the Bible and raised his face to look out upon his congregation once more. His voice which had been strong and certain as he was reading from the Bible almost seemed to tremble as he spoke now. "Brothers and sisters, hear my words. We must face the changes in our lives. We must no longer simply accept all of the small changes that seem to happen each day. We must indeed change our ways, but they must be changed in order to honor the Lord our God. If we don't face the changes that are happening and reject those that take us away from our Lord, we will find no light. There will be only darkness and gloom in our lives and in this land. God will weep for us as we also will weep for ourselves. Change can be good. It can be truly wonderful. If we change our ways and purify our hearts, if we truly seek the Lord we will be drawn near to Him. We will be returned to the light. Now don't think that I am just preaching doom and gloom to you."

      He smiled as he looked over at the youth. "I especially want you young people to know the future can be very bright indeed as you go out alone into the world for the first time. The choice is yours. You can go into a world filled with light or you can go into a world filled by darkness. God is the light of the world. If you go with Him, then you will have that light. If you leave him behind... you will begin a journey into the darkness. You are about to face more change than you have ever faced before. Many of you will be leaving the world you know behind to go out into a world filled with the unknown. It is a very exciting time. It can also be a very frightening time." Pastor David actually laughed out loud. Then he walked over and sat down on the steps that lead up to the raised area where the pulpit stood at the front of the church. He was seated directly in front of the youth section now.

   It seemed that he was no longer even aware of the rest of the church. All of his attention was focused on that group of youth seated directly in front of him. They were just as focused on him too. Smiling, he spoke again. Now his voice had that soft, soothing, fatherly tone he often used when talking with the smaller children. "I know this will be hard for you to believe, but once I was young like you." The youth all grinned and chuckled at that. "I was pastor here before many of you were born and probably have been for as long as most of you can remember. To you I have always been an old man." This time he laughed with the youth. It seemed like he was no longer preaching a sermon, it was more like he was talking to his family. He pointed his finger at them as he continued.

    "I really was your age and I can still remember it, like it was yesterday. There will be days in your lives that you will never forget and many of them will be happening soon." He stopped for just a moment and then continued. His voice was more serious, but still soft and soothing.  "I remember leaving home to start college. I was young and sure of myself, but I was scared to death too. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life yet. I figured I still had plenty of time to decide that. I was a pretty fair basketball player and I had a full ride athletic scholarship to a decent college. It wasn't a big college, but it was a nice size and well known in several nearby states. I still remember the first big pep rally they had for us. I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had won a starting guard spot as a freshman on the team. That was a big deal to me. I was scared and kind of lonely though. I had moved several hundred miles from home and couldn't afford to go home at all."

    Smiling he shook his head. "I was standing up there in front of hundreds of strangers when I saw this girl watching me. She was like a dream. One of those girls all of us guys imagine meeting. Tall, beautiful, with a figure to turn heads and she was looking right at me. Then she actually smiled back at me." The youth were all smiling now. "Well I was pretty full of myself, so I went over when the rally was done and introduced myself. We talked and the next day we went out on our first date. I was in love." With that last comment he had acted like he was swooning as he said the words. Even the rest of the congregation, who were watching and listening intently, laughed out loud at him now.

   Pastor David just smiled and continued on with his story. "We became a real item on campus. If you saw one of us you would usually see the other. We didn't have classes together, but if we weren't in class or I wasn't at practice or an away game, we were together. Then one day, a couple of months later, I had a professor cancel a class. I was free until ball practice that evening. We had just finished testing so things were slow. I had plenty of time and I knew my girl was free for the morning too. I headed over to spend the rest of the morning with her. As I got closer to her dorm I suddenly saw her. She was sitting in another guys lap and they were definitely involved. I just stood there in shock for a moment. I knew that guy. He was from a rich family and that was his hot sports car parked in front of her dorm. Finally, I just turned around and walked away. I was crushed. I had been thinking we were it. She was everything I had dreamed of and she just hung all over me when we were together. How could she be doing that with him? I walked across campus to a secluded area between the campus and a small lake at the edge of the campus. When I was sure I was alone, I started to talk to myself. I started to yell and curse at her and him. Then I started to curse God for letting me make such a fool of myself." He paused for a moment looking down with a frown on his face. He was clearly disturbed by this memory of his actions.

    Andy couldn't believe what he had just heard. The idea of Pastor David doing anything foolish or wrong was shocking enough. To hear him admit to cursing at God was almost unbelievable. It was clear to see that he wasn't alone in his reaction to Pastor David's story. Glancing around Andy saw others with clear looks of stunned disbelief. Even on the faces of some of the oldest members among the congregation it could be seen. Pastor David had always been one of the most devoted and humble men Andy had known. He seldom raised his voice and Andy wasn't sure he had ever seen him angry. He had seen Pastor David upset, but he had seemed more hurt and disappointed than angry at those few times. Usually it was due to the behavior of others in the community, often members in the church, that he became upset with. Even then, it took a great deal to disturb him enough for it to be seen. Pastor David continued after his brief pause.

   "I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a voice ask me to not curse God. I whirled around and looked all over for the source of that voice. It took me a second look to see her sitting against a large oak tree. She had her arms crossed and was looking at me like she was ready to fight. I started to stammer around and try to apologize, but she just shook her head at me. She stood up and walked over to where I was standing. When she stopped she was looking right at me and was close enough to slap me. I thought she was going to slap me. Instead she just started talking to me. I will never, ever, forget what she said. She said, 'You don't need to apologize to me. You need to apologize to God first. Then you should apologize to the two you were actually cursing.' He shook his head and laughed. "I think I must have looked like my jaw was going to fall off. She started to laugh and told me to shut my mouth before I swallowed a tree."

    Pastor David laughed again before he continued. "When I could talk again, I asked her how she could expect me to apologize to them. She shook her head and sighed at me. Then she told me that she didn't expect it, but God did. Then she started to walk off. I just stood there and stared at her for a minute before I ran to catch her. When I got to her I started walking beside her and asked her how she could say those things to me. She gave me the strangest look and then just kept walking. Finally, she started to talk after I just kept walking with her, asking for an answer. She told me that she was sorry about what had happened to me. She told me that a lot of people had been laughing at me, but not everyone. She looked at me and smiled before she told me she could ask me to forgive them because she knew that was what God would want and that I knew that too. Those words made me stop dead in my tracks. I watched her walk the rest of the way across campus."

    Pastor David looked over at his wife and smiled. "That was the first time I ever really saw my wife. The next time I had the class that professor had canceled I walked into the room and saw her sitting just a few chairs down from where I sat every day. I had never even noticed her before. By the end of the week I was trying to get enough courage to ask her out. I finally did manage to ask her out, but she told me no. Then she told me she would go to breakfast with me Sunday morning before church... if I would go to church with her." He laughed and shook his head. "Now I know you are wondering why I am telling you about meeting my wife. I am telling you because you need to understand that everything that changes in your life is for a purpose. I believe that with all my heart. I have absolutely no doubt that the Lord used every single event up to that very moment to get me where He needed me to be. God can and will use the events in your life to take you where you need to be. The thing each of you must remember is that once you reach that place, the choice of what you will do is still yours alone to make."

    Andy suddenly knew that this message was for him. The Lord had brought him to this place. All of the little things had been leading up to this one big thing. Now he was standing at a crossroads in his life. He had a decision to make, a decision that would indeed change the rest of his life. The only unanswered question Andy still had left was how he could possibly know what the right decision was. He looked directly at Pastor David to see if he was going to tell him how to know. Instead Pastor David got up and slowly walked back over to the pulpit. He stood behind the pulpit silently looking out over the congregation. Finally, he turned to look at the youth one more time. He smiled at them and then looked down at his Bible once more. He began to turn the pages. After a moment he began to read scriptures. He never raised his head or eyes from the Bible as he read.

 Pastor David was reading from Psalms. "Psalms 3 verse 4, I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain." A few pages turned and Pastor David seemed to mark a place before turning more pages. "Psalms 120 verse 1, I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me." Now far more pages were turned. Once more he read from the Bible. "The Lord Jesus said in Luke 11 verses 9 and 10, so I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find: knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Pastor David looked up at the people for the first time since starting to read these last passages from his Bible. His spoke without a hint of emotion in his voice.

    "Brothers and sisters, the world is changing rapidly. We will all face many doors in our lives. Some will be open, waiting for us to step inside. Others will be closed. How are we to know if we should take the open door or try to open the closed door?" Without ever looking down he quoted one of those scriptures again. "I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me." Looking back to the youth he asked another question. "How are you to open doors that seem closed to you?" Once again he quoted scripture without looking down. So I say to you: ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find: knock and the door will be opened to you."

    Then he lowered his head. "I now ask you to listen to my prayer for all of you, taken directly from the Bible. Psalms 20, May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offers. May he give you the desire of your heart and make all of your plans succeed. May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests. Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. Lord, give victory to the king. Answer us when we call. In the name of the Lord I pray."

    Now Pastor David raised his head as many in the crowd gave a soft 'Amen' to his prayer. Looking once more at them all he spoke again. "The Lord will open those doors for you, but have you opened the door to him?  Once more Pastor David quoted scripture. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. The Lord will knock at the door to your heart. He will call out to you. Only you can open that door though. Open that door and invite him inside. Then you will have the answers to all of your questions. Then you will have victory and peace in your heart. Of all the decisions we must make. Of all the changes that may happen in our lives. This one change is, the only choice, the only change in us that will matter for all of eternity."

   Pastor David turned to look at the youth section one last time. "I know in my heart that many of you are facing major decisions in the coming weeks. The future is both exciting and frightening. I will hope and pray that each of you have opened the door and invited the Lord to come in. But if you have not yet opened that door, if you haven't made that change in your life, then I beg you to go find a quiet place to be alone. Be still and know that He is God. Open that door. There is no other decision that will change your life the way that one will. Before you go out into the world to face all of the changes ahead of you... face this one if you have not already. The Lord has the answers you need. Ask and you will receive. Go somewhere today and listen for His voice. Then you will have the answers you seek."